Moving on up and making changes

Me, on the day I received my Master's Degree. The look of pride and satisfaction says it all.

I've known for quite some time that I was being considered for a promotion; probably since August to be exact. But, before I get into that, let me first explain the logistics of my job.

I am an adolescent substance abuse therapist. So what? What does that mean? Honestly, it means the world to me. I work with teens 12-22 who have addiction problems. I perform assessments, do individual treatment, but mostly my job description entails doing group therapy with teens.

Some therapist's lead group others are group leaders. I fall into the latter. I. am. really. good. at. being. a group. leader. Not that I am tooting my own horn, I just know that I do an amazing job with groups. It's almost as though it was my destiny. I know what my strengths are. I can clearly identify them. For instance, I am just alright at individual treatment. I see progress in my clients, they feel like our work together is helpful, I use evidence based practices--BUT, I don't love individual treatment. As a therapist, it requires a piece of intimacy from me that I don't have. On the other hand, I love groups. I can be myself and an amazing leader in groups. I feel good about my career choice when I do groups, and it was noticed.

I was recently promoted to Senior IOP (Intensive Out-Patient) Clinician. Basically, it means that I am still doing the same thing I have been I just got a new title, a nice little raise and only a couple more responsibilities. But structurally, much remains the same, with the exception that almost all decisions about our group treatment program have to be cleared through me. However, internally for me, it means a lot. It means I was finally recognized for the hard work I do, I was finally recognized for being good at what I do, and I was given two people to supervise which means I am good enough to work with other professionals in our program to help them grow professionally.

This has been a big year for me, personally and professionally. Balancing that is very difficult. I recently passed my LADC and LCMHC exams (very big accomplishments) but both required a lot of prepping and studying. That time had to come out of my personal life.

Aaron and I are two very busy people. Last weekend, Aaron and I were relaxing, watching a movie, The Family Man and as we watched it together, Aaron looked over at me and said "that could totally be you." I had a mini-catharsis, if you will. I could totally be "Jack." For those who haven't seen the movie, Jack is the main character, played by Nicolas Cage. The premise of the movie is that he is an Ebenezer Scrooge, works all the time, consumed by his career, jettisoned all the joys in life to work 24/7/365. However, on Christmas Eve, he is transported to a different time, a place where he is married, has children, the family life- things he would have had, had his life taken a different course. Jack doesn't realize what he was missing because he never knew what he didn't have.

So, I don't know if I am even articulating this correctly, because it's hard for me to put it into feelings/words. But many times Aaron has to call me to remind me to come home at night. It's not that I'm avoiding coming home, it's just that I get so wrapped up in what I am doing at that moment. I am so in love with what I do. I just have to get "one last thing" done. It's hard for me, at the time, to realize how selfish I can be when it comes to work. I have always been like this. What's the problem? The problem is that often I'll work 12 hours in a day without realizing it. This is bad in a lot of ways; as a professional I have to be very careful and monitor myself. I need to take care and prevent getting compassion fatigue and burn out.

As a person in a relationship I also have to monitor this. Aaron is very good at his career, but when the job is done he can come home and relax. I'm just not built like that. It doesn't make me better than him, and as a matter of fact, I see my work ethic as a bit dysfunctional. I need to dot an exceptional job, I need to get one more thing done, I need to put in a few more hours, I need to make sure... I need, I need, I need. No. I am in a partnership with Aaron. I need to let him compliment my career, I certainly don't want him to feel like he has to compete with it.

I guess that point I'm trying to make, is I love what I do, a little too much. It's nice to be recognized for my efforts; but I still need to remind myself on a daily basis that I work to live, not live to work. I think this promotion is going to help me do that. I will have to work on delegating, balancing, and setting limits for myself and others. I have already begun doing this. I now leave the office around 3:30 on Mondays. I'm gone by 8:00 on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays, and Fridays, if I go in at all, I leave by 1:00 (on most days). I no longer "work from home" unless that day, I truly am "working from home." And a new rule in our house; we don't talk about work. If we do have something to say we make it a point to ask the other if we can talk about work. It sounds ridiculous, but Aaron and I have such similar jobs that we could spend HOURS, literally hours, bouncing ideas, theories and interventions off one another.

So, to celebrate my promotion and passing my exams, this weekend Aaron and I are getting away. On Saturday we are going to see The Grinch Musical at the Wang in Boston. Then, we're going to see the big tree in Boston, have a nice dinner, do some last minute Christmas shopping. We have reserved a room here: "The Inn." We're are staying in the Tedford Room and will be treated to what I hope is an amazing breakfast in the morning. So exciting. I really need time away from reality, with Aaron. That is all I really need in life.