"Hufflepuff!" -The Sorting Hat

If you have no idea what the title means, then move along; don't waste your time reading this because you obviously haven't read Harry Potter... and we probably shouldn't be friends.

In the series, the Sorting Hat is an old hat that sorts first year students into one of the four respective houses. Hufflepuff is known as being the house valuing hard work, patience, loyalty, and fair play rather than focusing on a particular aptitude in its members. Hufflepuffs value the group as a whole and are known for tolerance. Hufflepuff is the house of general human decency and kindness. Sadly, the Hufflepuff house gets almost as much hate as Slytherin.

If you think about it, J.K Rowling pretty much covered society in defining the four houses; we all fit somewhere and life pretty much sorts you. People who know anything about Harry Potter and the four houses, have probably mentally sorted their friends and family. Or maybe you haven't... and that's just me.

Anyway, I digress. Today, I realized my son is a Hufflepuff.

From the moment he woke, Toby said he wanted to go for a hike at the "Bird Bond" (Audubon Center.) It's no exaggeration when I say we've probably been there about 40 times since he was born. He loves it there. I love it there. So we go there. A lot.

Whenever we go, we must cross a small footbridge in order to get to the hiking trails. Anytime we cross any footbridge (anywhere) we always say, "Tromp! Tromp! Tromp! Who's that tromping on my bridge?!" which is a reference to the Three Billy Goats Gruff. (If you haven't read that classic children's story either, you might as well go back to bed and just start life over.) Today, as he approached the bridge he said, "Mama! Today Toby be the troll!" (Meaning, he wanted to say "Tromp! Tromp! Tromp!" all by himself.) I said, "Okay, Bud. Today you can be the mean old Troll."

I don't know if I can properly communicate what happened next, and some may think it's petty, but I'm incredibly proud. Toby stopped walking and turned to look at me. The look in his eyes made him seem years older than three. What he said next, completely schooled me. It is a moment I want to remember forever.

"Mama, the troll isn't mean. Him sad. Him can't live in a house and him hungry under his bridge. The troll is sad, Mama, him is not mean."

At three-years-old, my son has a clue about the human condition. He has empathy and insight. The world can be tough, and often people walk around in judgement of others; so nearsighted and intolerant. I hope Toby never loses that part of him that sees beyond the obvious.

My kid is a Hufflepuff and I'm so proud.

Pizza!

Toby is big into "helping" these days. He wants to "help" with anything and everything. He'll clean up his toys at the end of the night, put his dishes in the sink after meals and, lately, he has definitely wanted to help cook.

Remember about a year ago (OMG, A YEAR?!) I said I started dragging his highchair into the kitchen while Aaron and I prepared food? Well, we really devoted ourselves to doing this in hopes that Toby would have an appreciation for food, how it's prepared, and enjoy it. We make a BIG deal out of dinner time with much pomp and circumstance. We even have theme nights: "Finger Food Fridays" and then a themed meal one day per week. For example, on "Italian Night" we might make spaghetti and meatballs and pull up some Italian music on Pandora. If we are truly ambitious, we will even pull print out a few facts on Italy (or the theme location) and read them to Toby... or have him color a map of the country.

Is he retaining any of this? Probably not. BUT, what we are doing is making routine and traditions. I know people with children around my son's age think their child is too young for things like this (hence, insinuating that my son is too young also) but, I never allow myself to think that he won't get anything out of these types of activities. Perhaps, yes, when I ask him to help me make pizza, he's just throwing around dough and cheese, but we're spending time together and I'm letting him be curious and explore food.

Over Christmas we went to the farm and my mom gave us her recipe to make pizza from scratch. So we did it for the first time in Maine over Christmas (she even made us ALL matching aprons.)

Now, every Wednesday, Toby and I make pizza. He gets so excited when I pull his apron down from the hook. He'll run to the kitchen to grab his ladder. He knows. That much he has retained. And, when the pizza is done, I will compliment him on what a good job he did making pizza. You know what? He will even eat an entire slice.

I'm not going to lie, it would be "so much easier" for me to just make the pizza on my own; not worry about putting things in little dishes so he can spread the toppings more easily- (thus doing way more dishes than actually required to make pizza.) Further, it would be much less labor intensive to not have to clean cheese, sauce, and toppings from the floor and rug. But then I would miss moments like this:

"Written by Mama, Illustrated by Dada" Oui?

It's no secret that my husband is an incredibly talented woodworker; I've made mention to this fact several times. In looking back over the last few years, it occurred to me just how much my husband does for me, our son, and our family. 

In our relationship we've often joked about how I'm the "writer" and he's the "illustrator" (literally.) I will come up with an idea and he will make it happen; come hell or high water, he will make it happen.

Allow me a moment to brag about his work:

 

 

The shed he built for us in 2010

Our son's nursery used to be our office. I wanted it completely remodeled... and he did it. He did it while working full-time. He even added a few of his own touches to the room. What he did to the floor in Toby's closet almost brought me to my knees. I had NO idea this was happening (being pregnant, I mostly stayed out of the room while it was being remodeled- especially when the floors were being done.) This speaks to how much he loves me and our son.

He also put a bookshelf into the wall. Granted, I wasn't happy about it at first but, now I appreciate his penchant for utility in our tiny little house.

And one of my favorite pieces (among the many not even mentioned here) is the ticket booth for our little ringmaster's first birthday. When I told my husband I wanted a ticket booth built from wood, to be used for just a couple of hours... just a prop for our son's first birthday.. he didn't flinch. He just did it. And it took him months.

The dude loves his son and his wife, what I can say?

Well, the other morning as I was moving some things around, I flipped Toby's Christmas box over to find this, burned into the bottom:

Again, I had no idea he did this on the bottom. I would never think to look at the bottom. This just speaks to Aaron's style; he does things for us without any expectation of return or praise. (But, you can certainly bet that I'm going to make note of it.)

I don't even really know if I'm making any sense here. I just felt this was something that needed to be documented forever in the archives of this blog; our virtual scrapbook. And, in the spirit of the season, I just have to acknowledge one of the greatest gifts life has given me is the unconditional love of my husband. Loving me is a tall order. Aaron never ceases to step up to the plate and illustrates, on a daily basis, the depth of his love and commitment to us. Therefore, it must be written. Oui?

Wednesday, Oui? My Man-flu

We all know what a "man-flu" is. But, in case you live under a rock, or somehow escaped having a partner who often succumbs to this debilitating illness, the man-flu is when a woman and a man end up with the same exact flu bug BUT... the dude is down for the count. He's the sickest he has ever been. He's actually the sickest person in the world. It hurts him to blink.

Yes, it's annoying.

Over the weekend I caught a disgusting flu bug and was down.for.the.count. It's times like that when you really realize what kind of a person your spouse is. When you are at your most disgusting, wheezy, snotty, needy, coughy, and miserable.

It doesn't take a monumental moment or event to make me realize how lucky I am to have married Aaron. He's the best husband ever. Like whoa. I know I've sung Aaron's praises a MILLION times on this blog but, I think there are just some things that need to be said over and over again.

Now, those who know me (well) know that I am, by no stretch of the imagination, the kind of person who will hold up a sign advertising free hugs. I'm quite content with the obligatory holiday hug. I don't need to be fawned over, waited on, or spoiled.

Unless I'm sick. Then drop everything. Hold me, rub me, massage me, pet my hair, and make me toast. I get the full on "man flu." Yes, yes, it's true. I'm not afraid to admit it. I become a baby when I'm sick... and only when I'm sick. Remember, this is coming from the girl who gave birth without so much as a Tylenol.

Aaron eats this up. He loves to be needed and he loves to take care of me. While I love to soak up the spoils when I feel like death, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that, not only does Aaron anticipate my needs but, he goes above and beyond. The proof?

J: (said with a stuffy nose- after waking up in the middle of the night) "Babe?"
A: (sleeping)
J: (scratching at his leg with my toe-talon) "Babe?"
A: "Yeah, love?"
J: "Can I have a popsicle?"
A: "Sure." (gets out bed and goes downstairs to the freezer and comes back empty handed.)
J: "Where's my popsicle?"
A: (settling back into bed) "We don't have any... and it's 1:30. Hannaford is closed."
J: "CVS is open 24 hours."
A: (gets up and gets dressed.)


Yes, my husband drove to CVS to get me popsicles at 1:30 in the morning when he had to go to work in just a few hours. That's love.

And before he left for work that morning he said, "Would you like for me to put in one of your sick movies?"

On Monday I stayed home from work (my Nanny came in, thankfully.) I pretty much slept all day and into the evening. When he came home from work and sent Nanny home he totally took care of everything. I don't even know what he and Toby did but, I didn't hear from either of them until about 6:30 when Aaron came into the bedroom and said "Hun, we're about to do the second day of his Advent Calendar. I figured you'd want to see that. Do you want to come down, or do you want me to go ahead without you?"

I mean really? Really? I must have done something in a previous life to deserve this guy.

So, it must be said:
Aaron, love of my life, thank you for putting up with my WhoaMan flu. You're a trooper. Oui?

Toby: 14 months and 15 months

These past two months have been an absolute blur. But one thing is for sure, I have a toddler. An independent, walking, talking, and curious little toddler.

I can't get over how much of a little boy he is now. The other day he was just walking (yes, WALKING... ) around my living room and it felt like for the first time I saw a little boy. Who is this little man and what have you done with my baby?

At the risk of sounding like a narcissist, I really think my kid is smart. He's smart and thoughtful and happy. What more could I ask for?

So here are a few little facts about Mr. Mister:

 

Earning his keep

 

He is starting to develop a personality that's quite, (ahem) independent. He likes to do things all by himself. He likes to see how things work and he doesn't want help... unless he asks for it.

He's at that age where he is starting to give me stuff; a rock, a blade of grass, a crumb from a piece of toast. It's insanely adorable.

His language is out of control, his (vocal) vocabulary consists of: Mama, Dada, dog, Papa, kitty, bubbles, fish, all done, yeah, down, hot, hi, more, sit, thank you, love you, book, duck.

His signing vocabulary is also pretty extensive: Bird/Duck, All done, dog, more, cat, milk, dirty, book, Mama, Daddy, fish, food, again, help, ball, water, gentle, banana, airplane.

He's starting to take interest in things now. He's happiest when he's outside. He's obsessed with airplanes and animals, and he has also taken an interest in our garden. Nanny said he was pulling weeds in it the other day. He also loves machinery (tractors, cars, trucks, front-end loaders etc.) typical boy. He is quite nosy too.

He's still a fantastic eater. The days of bottles and purees have been gone for about 4-5 months now and he eats everything we do. He is not at all picky. The only things he has determined that he could do without are eggs and peas. Otherwise, he'll eat it. I'm talking, hummus, beets, pickles, beans galore, meats of all kinds, mushrooms, onions, watermelon, etc.. I will say his go-to items are avocados and fruits/veggies. Our garden has been providing us with a ton of cucumbers lately and he is loving this. I will admit he also has a sweet tooth, just like Mama and Daddy. He also has a penchant for ice cream (Sorry, kid, you got that from me) so because of this we're forced to go to the local ice cream shop at least 2 times per week. I'm proud to say he has never had fast food. Ever. And it's my goal to hold out as long as possible.

 

 

Burritos at Dos Amigos. He loves the mushroom burrito. No word of a lie.

He's sensitive and affectionate. He'll pet other children, he'll gently pet other animals. He'll grab your palm and put it on the side of his face and lean into it. Sometimes he'll stop whatever he's doing and he'll come over and just hug me or kiss me. He's off and on with "sharing" but some days he's really great at it, some days... not so much. He is always good at sharing food, though. He'll even feed you.

He understands the concept of "hi" and "bye." He'll even combine words. For instance, if we see a dog he'll say "Hi dog" or if Aaron tells him he has to go to work he'll say "bye Dada." It's insane.

 

 

Just chillin with Clifford. No big deal

He walks now. He's starting to attempt running. He has "jumped" a few times and he never crawls anymore. Month 14/15 is where he really started to get better at walking and it's now his favorite mode of transportation.

He's a climber. The other day I left the dining room long enough to put more water in his sippy cup and, I kid you not, when I returned he was ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE. I nearly dropped dead.

He has 8 pearly whites with more making their debut. He brushes his teeth twice per day. Notice I said "he?" I don't brush his teeth, he does. And he does a good job too. The only thing I have to do is sing Raffi's song about brushing your teeth and he'll do it.

He's still a two nap per day kid; early morning and late afternoon. He still sleeps right through the night. We did have to move him to nighttime diapers, however, because he's a great sleeper and he doesn't wake up for a diaper change. Thank goodness he doesn't poop in the night (he never has) so I only have to deal with a wet diaper in the morning.

He has his 15 month check up on Friday so I'm looking forward to seeing how much he officially weighs. I did check him on our scale last week and he was 23# even.

He has finally chosen a lovie. While Sophie giraffe was, is, and always will be his favorite, he's attached to Peter Rabbit. Not at all what I expected but, he drags the thing everywhere and won't sleep/nap unless he has Peter.

 

 

 

He is obsessed with airplanes. It's his most used "sign" and no matter what he's doing if he hears a plane overhead he will RUN to the window to look for it... then he'll excitedly sign plane over and over again.

 

 

I don't normally take selfies as I don't particularly care for them anymore but, this day we were standing on the porch and an airplane flew overhead. He began telling me an elaborate story about the plane (in his baby language) signing "airplane" like a mad man. I just kept saying "Yes, airplane. BIG airplane!" He was so excited!

He's a problem solver. He has discovered that if he can't reach something, he can use a toy to stand on. He has even gone so far as to tip over the garbage can and climb on that to reach something. Insanity.

He graduated Level I swim lessons. He's not eligible to begin again until he's 19 months old but you can bet we have him signed up already!!

 

I think that's pretty much all that covers the past two months. I am all about experiences for him so we've been really busy doing all sorts of activities. It's tough work keeping a toddler occupied and I love every second of it.

 

14 months

 

15 months

 

Wednesday, Oui: Father's Day

My husband is awesome. I know, I know, I say it a lot but, really you guys, he's awesome. With Father's Day fast approaching and a FUN FILLED few days ahead (a play date on Friday, a bridal shower on Saturday and BIG plans for this Mama on her birthday [which I share with all the fathers  this year]) I don't know that I'll have a minute to blog about father's day.

So, here are (some of) the reasons my old man is Boss:

Aaron is a super hard worker. He works a full-time job as a pretty amazing teacher to a difficult population of students. He has a way with wayward youth. I love that he's a teacher and he values education. He has an incredible amount of patience. (Anddddd, let's just level with ourselves here, he willingly married me; he MUST have patience. He should be knighted. Or Sainted. Or recognized by the Diocese in some way.)

My husband also works side jobs to help keep our kid fed, diapered, and nannied. I work 2.5 - 3 days per week. That's it. Aaron made his intent very clear that he didn't want me working full-time after our son was born. While I still struggle to find balance between part-time work and full-time mom, I'm lucky to have the option to still do what I adore and also, be home with my kid 4.5 days per week. I fully acknowledge that I could NOT do that without the support, hard work, and sacrifices my husband makes.

He keeps me leveled and grounded. I'm wound pretty tight by nature. While it is truly remarkable how much I've mellowed in my rigidity since Toby arrived, sometimes I still need a reality check. Aaron does that. He has an uncanny way of dealing with me.

He intentionally parents right along side me. When I'm at work, engrossed in the world of psychology, professional journals, progress notes, managed care, and addictions, I never stop to think, "Crap, does Aaron know what he's doing?" I never worry about whether or not he parents Toby the way I want him to. He has his own way and it's perfect. He can anticipate Toby's needs just as well as I can. I never pretend to be the better parent, or the better equipped parent.

Anddd, let's be real here. He 'aint' so bad on the eyes.

Before our son was born, my mother gave my husband a book: Harrison, Harry H, Jr. (2000). Father to Son: Life Lessons on Raising a Boy. New York, NY: Workman Publishing Company. (Sorry, I've been conditioned to cite sources properly!) It basically talks about the 5 key points of raising a kid and has short little words of wisdom on each page. Aaron loves this book and often references it. The other day we were talking about Toby and I said something along the lines of, "Oh, Toby is my bestie." And while I was only kidding, Aaron got up from the table, went and retrieved his book and turned right to one of the key points; reading it out loud to me. "Be his father, not his friend. If you don't understand the difference, imagine his confusion when you must discipline him." (Harrison, 2000, pg. 3.) My jaw dropped. This is exactly what I'm talking about when I say my husband parents intentionally. Even though I was only kidding when I said that, Aaron completely schooled me and reminded me of the importance of boundaries in raising your child. Sometimes he knocks my socks off. (But, as a shameless plug, if you're lost in what to get that special father of a sweet little boy, this book is amazing. It's designed for men to read, however, I've read it.)

Aaron and I often talk about the way we parent. We make sure we are on the same page. We make sure we back each other up. He's good at reading my cues if I'm frustrated or exhausted, or if our parenting style needs defending to anyone. We have both agreed on the same goal of "intentionally parenting" with a mission statement. We often discuss it and remind each other of it when we're feeling challenged, less than, or judged. "We are intentionally parenting our child to the best of our ability; we are not required to give anyone any rationale as to why we do things the way we do them. You can support and empower us as parents, or you can try to thwart us. One of these decisions will earn you more time with us and our son. One will earn you less. Those are your choices -- choose wisely." As hokey as it sounds it has served us so many times. I recognize how lucky I am to be in a partnership that we discuss things like this.

There are so many things that I could go on and on and on about, however, I'll end with how he role models being a partner. I don't care who Toby ends up loving when he's older; I know he is going to be the best partner to someone because that's what Aaron is. It's rare that Aaron goes grocery shopping without bringing home fresh flowers. It's rare that I'm the only person doing housework or laundry. It's rare that I'm the only one changing a diaper. Even though I am home 4 days per week, it's likely that Aaron will get up with our son first (most likely 7 out of 10 times Aaron is up first) even though he has to go to work... just so I can sleep just a few extra minutes. It's rare that I cook. As a matter of fact, often when I come home from work I'll find Toby sitting in his highchair watching Aaron cook dinner for us. Aaron will be explaining what he's doing with Pandora Kids radio playing in the background. Aaron tells me every day that he loves me and that I'm beautiful. He speaks to me with respect and adoration. (Actually, as I'm writing this, I think I need to step up my game so Toby doesn't end up marrying someone like me! wink.) Aaron loves me. Like whoa. That's probably one of the best lessons Toby can learn from his dad.

So, with father's day just days away, I'm giving a shout out to my husband, who made me a Mama. Aside from saying yes when you asked me to marry you, choosing you for Toby's daddy was the best decision I've ever made.

Thank you for all that you do, all that you are, and all that you give.
Oui?

Wednesday, Oui? A Year of Toby

Last week Toby turned one-year-old. I can't even begin to describe how much this little man means to our family; to us.

He is everything I could have ever asked for, and more.

I'm an educated woman with many titles, roles, licenses, and certifications. In the professional world, I pretty much have the entire alphabet after my name. None of those titles even come close to "Mama" which is, by far, my favorite role.

Over the past year of Toby's life, I took pictures of him every month on the 23rd (and pretty much every day.) Before he was even born I had a dream of compiling a slideshow of him for every year of his life. I made his slideshow a couple of weeks ago and Aaron and I watched it on the eve of his birthday. We were both a total mess. Time goes by too fast.

One year of Toby isn't nearly enough. Oui?

Please click on the link below to see the "first edition."

Toby's first year slideshow

A Oui from Toby: Easter

Hi Folks,

So, my Mama has been buzzing all around the house talking about something called Easter. I'm not certain what that is but, I know she is making a big HUGE deal about what I'm going to wear. (I heard her tell my dad what he was going to wear, too. I saw him roll his eyes when she left the room. Don't tell, okay?) She also put up all these decorations. I remember her doing that a couple of times before and it usually means presents for me so, I thought that was pretty cool. I like her swinging bunnies. She said I can't play with them though. I guess they aren't toys. There were made in a barn. A barn that makes pottery too. I'm not allowed to play with pottery either.

 

 I had chicken for breakfast this morning.

Oh my God. So, the other night, my Mama got all excited and danced around the kitchen. She said something about me getting a letter from a bunny. She read it to me and it sounded pretty good. I was psyched to think that I was going to get a basket of toys soon. I don't know how that rabbit knew things about me but, he did.

 

 

 

 

Okay, so then today, I get all packed up and my Mama said we were going to meet the Easter Bunny. Can you believe it? I was going to meet a real-life-rabbit!

I liked him. He was fuzzy.

Then he tickled me. And I didn't like him anymore. So, I cried. Mama held me and sang me our song at the mall. That made things better. Then she walked me all around the mall in my stroller. She bought a lot of things. All of them were for me. We went into a lot of stores. She had a lot of bags that made funny crinkly noises. Then we walked by the bunny again. I cried. So she brought me home and I had a nap.

I hope the Easter Bunny doesn't tickle you!

Love,
Toby