Top Ten Tuesday: Sick

I have a lot of pictures to post from the Christmas festivities but, unfortunately, I'm siiicckk... so stay tuned.

Due to my flu, (I'm a poet and I didn't even know it!) I'm going to post the top ten things that make me feel better when I have a stuffy nose, blocked ears, and a porcupine in my froat...

10. Pea soup
9. Edy's real fruit popsicles
8. Comfy "jamas"
7. Bag-of-zeans (how my sister once pronounced "magazines" when she had a sinus infection.)
6. Tea with honey from Mom & Dan's farm/bees.
5. Grilled ham and cheese.
4. My "sick" movies: Overboard, Dirty Dancing, and Pretty Woman.
3. Carmex for my chapped nostrils
2. MY COUCH
1. My husband: The only time I'm needy is when I'm sick and boy-oh-boy does he eat it up.

Cheers to feeling better soon!

Wednesday, Oui? That's news to me.

I love the news. As depressing as it is I love to know what's going on in the world, especially locally. I have been a self-diagnosed-internet-news-junky for several years, and we all know how much I love entertainment gossip. Recently, I started reading the newspaper- more specifically, the Union Leader.

There isn't much to report about this subject. I'm certainly not going to bore you with describing my favorite things to read in the paper (editorials) or my least favorite (sports and comics) and why this is so, but what I will tell you is that I love to read the paper with a cup of tea after I get home from work, or on the weekend, in bed.

I'm writing about the Union Leader as my Oui for one reason and one reason alone. Almost every morning my father-in-law, Jim, brings the previous day's paper to my house, tied in a Hannaford bag, and leaves it on my porch for me to enjoy when I get home from work.

I know I sound like a spoiled brat sometimes, but I really do appreciate how incredibly good Aaron and his entire family treat me. How sweet is it that Jim comes here, almost every morning, to drop off the paper? Unbelievable. It's actually a seven-day per week Oui...

Dad M., I hope you know how much I adore you and appreciate everything you do for us.

Top Ten Tuesday: 10 Christmas Favorites

Last week I did my top ten Christmas annoyances so it only makes sense, being that Christmas is just days away, to share the top ten things I love about the season.

So here they are in no particular order:

10. My favorite Christmas Movies: Love Actually, The Family Stone, Home Alone and The (original) Grinch.

9. Christmas Jewelry: not the stuff you get for Christmas (although, I love that too) but snowman earrings, and holiday pins (I have many, many pins- yes, I'm 90 years old.)

8. My favorite EVER Christmas songs- Otis Redding's White Christmas, Harry Simeone Chorale's Little Drummer Boy (my favorite Christmas song EVER), Bob Rivers' The 12 Pains of Christmas and Aselin Debison's The Gift. If you don't know these (versions) click on the links! They are the best!

7. Getting Christmas cards in the mail.

6. Live holiday shows- Aaron and I go to a Christmas show every year. Our first Christmas we went to The Nutcracker, last year we went to see The Grinch, this year it was A Christmas Carol.

5. Nativity Scenes: I love Baby Jesus; he's the reason for the season and I love nativity scenes. I collect them (only the Demdaco- Willow Tree versions- I have two- hehehe.)

4. Christmas trees with white lights and red accents of berries and ribbons.

3. Santa kneeling over baby Jesus: I collect these too; something about them makes me emotional. I think it's because it mixes the two different parts of Christmas that most people relate to. Every year Aaron gets me a new ornament. Our first year together he got me Santa kneeling over Baby Jesus- but it's a music box that plays Oh Come all Ye Faithful.

2. Family parties, visiting with good friend, and lots of food and egg-nog.

1. The true feeling of the season: Wanting to do for others, being close to the ones you love, and being happy and grateful for what you already have.

Menu Monday: TJ's

So this isn't a recipe, as promised on Mondays, but really more of an advertisement.

I love Trader Joe's. I love, love, love Trader Joe's. There are a lot of things I like to buy when we make a trip, but I do have a few favorites. So here's a shameless plug for a couple of my favorite items that we normally stock up on when we make a trip to TJ's.

The cornbread mix is to die for. I love corn bread and this is the best mix I have found to date. I don't make it from scratch like my mother does; I wish I had time for that. But, this is a good substitute.

(Another plug in the background. The BEST ever cookbook, The Amish Cook at Home. We all know I am obsessed with everything Amish- I have yet to find a recipe in this cookbook that isn't tasty or simple.)

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Pancake Mix- It's tasty with maple syrup or a light drizzled frosting. Not super healthy but super tasty.

And if you make the pancakes into the shape of a moose there are fewer calories. Look closely. Do you see any calories? Me either :)

Photographic Friday

Last week we had to bring 3 of our 4 animals to the vets for check-ups and shots. It was quite the fiasco. We did, however, manage to get some cute pictures.

(I think some people found it odd that we were taking pictures at the vet. Um, excuse me? I bring my camera everywhere my animals go. It's inevitable they will do something cute!)

Rocko was so nervous he hid behind me :(

Fun Fact Thursday: Real vs. Fake

Hi, my name is Jessi, and I'm an ecoholic.

Many LOVE the smell and feel of having a real tree in their living room at Christmas. But one has to wonder, is this eco-friendly?

I love trees. Trees are probably one of my favorite things in the whole world. I am in love with trees. I'd also like to consider myself  BFF's with Mother Earth so, I did a lot of research on this question to find out which tree is more eco-friendly, real or fake?

The answer: both, actually. Each has pros and both have cons.

Real Trees

PRO: Buying a real tree every year asserts that more will be planted in its place.
CON: Many tree farms use pesticides to maintain trees, which is extremely damaging to the ecosystem.

PRO: While the tree is alive it's doing important tree things for the environment.
CON: Often, tree farms grow trees only for places that sell precut trees. These trees are cut down using equipment and shipped in large trailer trucks all over the country. A lot of trees are not used and end up being thrown away.

PRO: They are recycled in landfills and/or our town has a tree-recycling plan.
CON: Many towns do have a tree recycling plan that details a specific truck making rounds, creating more pollution. Some towns burn the trees creating pollution when, ultimately, letting it naturally decompose or having it made into mulch might be more eco-friendly (although still creating pollution.)

Fake Trees:

PRO: You don't waste trees every year, cutting one down for 4 weeks of viewing.
CON: Creation of fake trees leaves a significant carbon footprint due to production, chemicals used, and shipment.

PRO: Many fake trees are flame retardant, causing fewer fires in households where real trees can present a fire hazard.
CON: Flame retardant = carbon footprint.

PRO: It costs less to have a fake tree.
CON: You aren't giving your money to small tree farms- you're giving it to large manufacturing corporations.

So, folks, they jury is out as to whether fake or real is greener. Some factors to consider:
Storage: Can you store a real tree year round? Are you willing to keep the same fake one for many years?
Money: The average cut-your-own costs about $35-55. Over 10 years that's $350-550 (plus travel to get one) and you'll enjoy it for just a few weeks.
Smell: Real ones smell wonderful. Yankee Candle's Balsam and Fir also smells wonderful.
Mess: Real trees leave needles everywhere and require maintenance. Fake ones are no muss no fuss.

There really isn't a good answer to this one. Both are helpful to the environment. Both are harmful to the environment.

So, here's what I do:

I bought a BEAUTIFUL tree on clearance about 5 years ago. The tree was $500, but I got it for 1/2 off in January, and it has already paid for itself. No, it doesn't smell, (thank you Yankee Candle) and I do miss the tradition of cutting your own, but I don't miss the horrible guilt I felt when I cut down a tree, to later throw it on the side of the road. I just can't do it. So, in order to compensate for the carbon footprint I left when I bought my fake (gorgeous and perfect) tree a few years ago I joined The Arbor Day Foundation. My annual membership fee plants 10 trees every single year.

This year, I started a new tradition by purchasing 3 holiday give-a-tree-cards at http://www.arbordayfoundation.org/ Each card you buy plants a tree and the card is made from recycled paper. They cost about $6 dollars per card. Now, if my tree has already paid for itself, and I purchased 3 cards... not only am I saving money, but I'm also helping to rebuild national forests with trees that won't be cut down :) Sounds pretty good to me.

So, either way you go-- real versus fake-- do something to give back. That is the greener decision.

Top Ten Tuesday: 10 Holiday Annoyances

10. Blue Christmas lights- They really hurt my eyes (I don't particularly care for colored lights either, simply because I think they're tacky... but forgivable.)

9. Two specific Christmas songs on the radio- 1. "Santa Baby" The version Madonna sings with a stuffy nose, and 2. "Christmas Shoes" You know the one the people claim, "brings tears" to their eyes. I hate that song. If Mom is dying why not buy her a nice dress? Shoes just seem like an impulse buy.

8. Candy Cane flavored everything- Every coffee shop has a candy cane flavored something.

7. Those blow-up lawn things- You know what I'm talking about. They look great for a split second and then they're all limp and flaccid on the lawn.

6. Gift bags without tissue paper- Okay, so I know I go a bit overboard when it comes to sprucing up a gift. I do love to spend ridiculous amounts of time curling bows and writing out nametags, but come on people. Are you so cheap and lazy that you can't stuff a little sprig of tissue paper in the gift bag you haphazardly threw my present into?

5. The commercials that change their theme song to go with words of a Christmas song- I think "Happy Honda Days" does this to "We Wish you a Merry Christmas." Horrible.

4. Grumpy people- On the road/in the stores/at work. 'Tis the Season folks.

3. People who want to take Christ out of Christmas- But will more than likely still put up a tree in December, wrap presents, and expect the 25th off... paid. Don't you DARE say "Happy Holidays" to me. I will ALWAYS counter-offer with a "Merry Christmas." I love Baby Jesus. He's the reason for the season.

2. People who ignore the Salvation Army bell ringers- You don't even have a few pennies at the bottom of your purse? Really? Do you know how much money would be raised if everyone put in a dime? Any idea? Me either, but I'm sure it's a ton!!

1. Pre-cut Christmas Trees- It really, really bothers me. I will never buy a precut tree and I don't think it should be allowed. Do you have any idea how many trees are wasted? You'll find out on Thursday, actually, when I post my "Fun Fact Thursday" segment.

Menu Monday: Heather's Chicken Pot Pie

One of my dearest friends, Heather, gave me a delicious recipe for Chicken Pot Pie when we were in college together. It's super simple and so delicious!

Ingredients:

1 box (2 pieces) Pillsbury pre-made pie crust

1 bag frozen peas

1 bag frozen carrots

1 box of Perdue pre-cooked chicken

2 cans of Campbell's cream of mushroom soup (don't water it down.)

Instructions:

1. Put thawed crust on the bottom of a pie dish.

2. Add layer of peas, carrots, chicken, and mushroom soup, then repeat with the second layer.

3. Add top of pie crust and mold sides together.

4. Cut slits in the top and brush the top with milk.

5. Cook at 350 until slightly browned and bubbly.

My Christmas List

The past month or so has been horrible, absolutely horrible. I wouldn't even know where to begin to explain the details of "horrible" but I'll try to include a few specific examples of "my horrible" in this post.

What I will say, because I can’t stand being negative, is this blog has been very therapeutic, as has food, friends, and drinks ;)

(Yes, I have a subscription to US Weekly. Jealous?)

I have been so busy, so exhausted, and haven't been feeling well. I'd like to think I'm an optimist, or at least, people tell me I'm an optimist; I usually have a positive outlook on things or I try to find the bright side. Lately, however, that has been a little more difficult.

Wednesday was the day of the big snowstorm. I went work. Not a lot of people did, but I don't live far and I had a lot to do, so I went in (Aaron drove me, as he usually does on snow days.) Why did I do that? I should have just stayed home. I had vacation time. I had comp time. When I had to return to work at 11:00 PM that night to steal a space heater to warm my house, I was even more angry at myself for having already been in the office for most of the day when I should have taken a "snow-day."

On Wednesday evening our furnace died. Something malfunctioned and it caused the furnace to run when it shouldn't have. As a result, it cracked, spilling water into our basement. A repairman came on Thursday to "Mickey Mouse" it until we can get a new one installed. The Old Beast (as I call the furnace) is still running today and the man who fixed it said, "I'm not a magician. It could run for six hours, six days, or six months."

Really, we are just hoping it runs until summer when we will replace it.

Friday, our laptop started acting up. It kept freezing. It's still being very temperamental. We definitely need a new one. On-line shopping has been difficult, LOL. I’m just hoping that it will make it until my sister has time to back up all my pictures.

Saturday when we woke up, we noticed the upstairs toilet was leaking, or should I say, gushing onto our new tile floors. Aaron fixed that, but needed to find information online about the toilet, unfortunately the computer froze for the remainder of the day.

Later in the afternoon, we notice the temperature was dropping in our home. Aaron investigated to find the furnace had again stopped. He refilled it with water and it ran. Thank God. We are probably going to have to fill it with water everyday and watch it like a hawk. That's fine. It's running. I won't complain.

Yesterday I spent most of my day reading. I read 2 books this weekend. The first was Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner. It was amazing. The second book I read I'll talk about in a moment, it's the point of this story.

As I was about half way through the second book, my mother-in-law called to ask if I had any pretty gift bags. "Of course I do, I'll bring them over." I grabbed the prettiest bag I could find and I yelled to Aaron to tell him that I would be right back, so he came up from the basement to give me a kiss. Poor Aaron. Poor, poor Aaron.

Aaron is a problem solver- BIG TIME. If something goes wrong, he is ready with 100 solutions. That can be a very good thing, or it can be a very bad thing. It's great when I need solutions- I have plenty to choose from. It's bad when I don't want solutions and I just want someone to listen, and let me vent. When I'm stressed out and I know there isn’t anything I can do about something, or someone, or a situation, I just want to vent. Hearing solutions tends to irritate me. But, alas, I digress.

Aaron can't fix the furnace, nor can he make thousands of dollars appear to get a new furnace immediately. He can't fix the computer, and while he can fix the toilet, he can't figure out why it leaked. This kills him. What he gets most upset about is that he feels like if he doesn't/can't do these things, then he is being neglectful to me. It kills him to feel like he isn't or can't take care of me.

He doesn't know how much he already does.

So, back to where I was heading with this. I was about to leave to head over to my in-laws-house. Aaron ran up from the basement to say "bye" (even though I'm going to be gone for less than ten minutes I still find it endearing.) He walked me to the door and as I reached for the handle I pulled it right out of the door. "What the f*ck!?" I screamed. Aaron came running back to see me there, holding our doorknob. He had a look of complete bewilderment on his face. I could see what he was thinking, “how am I going to fix this and why couldn’t it have happened to me?” He tries to protect me from even the smallest annoyances.

I looked at him. I put my hands on both of his shoulders and I said, "Baby, at least we still have each other." We laughed, hysterically actually, and took a few pictures. Then I left... through the back door.

When I returned home I finished the book I had started a few hours earlier, The Christmas List by Richard Paul Evans. It was probably one of the best books I have ever read, and, it's an easy read. The premise of the book is righting the wrongs you've done to others.

Now, I consider myself to be a pretty good person. I definitely have my moments, but I try to never intentionally hurt someone if I can help it. I don't steal, I'm pretty honest, almost to a fault, and I try to love life. Why on earth would all of these things be happening to me all at once?! What karma is biting me in the ass that I should have a horrible month at work, have some health issues, and have major house problems all happen within a week of getting bad news about a friend, constantly worrying about my grandfather, and being faced with a situation that makes you question who your friends are? Why did all of this happen right before Christmas? Why me? I have never felt so defeated in my life.

Then I started thinking about the book I had just finished. In the book there was a quote that I read, then read again, then over and over several times.

"When life is more than you can stand, kneel."

I really can handle what has been given to me. I am a positive person. It got me thinking that maybe the reason this is happening is so that I can see the gifts all around me- because I am strong and I can deal with all of this...all at once. Maybe I can't do it standing, but I do have some amazing people that can help share the load. I won't go through life angry at what I don't have, or who has cheated me (at least I try not to, I'm not perfect) and it made me realize that the people who feel like that, who keep score, really can't be all that happy.

Most people make Christmas lists full of things they want. There are always things I want. But this year, I'm going to make a list of things I have, and only one thing I want.

So, here is the list:

What I have:

• A beautiful home (I wanted the 1930's antique Cape. I need to accept the good and the bad that comes with old houses.)
• Some really great friends who are my biggest fans.
• An amazing husband who loves, adores, and supports me in every way possible.
• Aaron's family, who loves me as if I were their own.
• The best siblings a girl could ask for.
• Everything material that I need, and even a lot of things that I want.
• Stability.
• Great parents who, despite their flaws (we all have them) love me the best way they know how.
• An exceptional education and all the privileges that come along with it.
• A career that I love, regardless of the frustrations. I'm doing exactly what I said I was going to do 15 years ago. Who does that?
• A family that keeps me sane.
• Healthy animals that reinvent my world.
• Food in the fridge.
• Money in the bank.
• Pretty good health, minus one small detail.
• More love than any one person deserves.

What I want:

• Hope: That I never take this for granted and I am able to remember, every day, that: life goes on, I have more than any one person should, there is always someone to share the load, someone is always worse off than even my most horrible month and the humanity to give, in any way, to those who have less than I do.

Merry Christmas.

Photographic Friday: "Nickel"

This is one of my very best friends, Nickie.

I am not the type of person who keeps a ton of friends around me. I keep most people at arms length, but a few seem to weasel their way into my life and make a home in my heart. As cliché as that sounds, it's the truth.

If you're a friend of mine (one of the one's who has burrowed through the shell) you know that I would do ABSOLUTELY anything for you. Anything. It's the way I work. Everything I do, I do to the best of my ability. I work hard, I play hard, and I love hard. I'll admit, I know I'm a horrible acquaintance, but a great friend. I live my life by it.

On this "Photographic Friday" I wanted to give a shout out to Nickie. I've been having an incredibly stressful month and one constant companion and supporter (aside from Aaron and a couple other friends) has been Nickie.

I cannot imagine my life without her. Seriously. She is my rock most days and, no-matter-what, she's always there for me-- a huge supporter. If I'm having a bad day, or even a good day, seeing her makes everything better. We spend unusual amounts of time together and we do almost everything together. Nickie is a permanent fixture in my home and even has a key. I can't explain, or articulate the love I have for Nickie but, with Nickie, words aren't even necessary. A simple glance will tell all and she knows what I need- and vice-versa. Nickie has been very patient with me- breaking through my shell, and she is even someone I'm willing to hug on a daily basis :) I can tell Nickie anything and she doesn't judge me, nor does she disappoint me.

Aaron absolutely LOVES Nickie too. Who wouldn't? Aaron always says, "Nickie is the sister I never wanted" ;) Or, actually, "Nickel" as he lovingly refers to her. In all reality, I think the reason they get along so well is that Nickie is Aaron in a female body and Aaron in Nickie in a male body- they are exactly the same person in a lot of ways. It's kind of creepy.

I love this picture of Nickie and I. She was the reverend at my wedding. She married us!!!!! I am so honored she performed the ceremony and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Nickie loves me unconditionally. Every girl needs a friend like her. Thankfully, she’s mine.

Oui LOVE Christmas

I love Christmas. It's not my favorite holiday, as I prefer Halloween/fall/harvest time, but I do love Christmas. I love the feeling it brings, I love the memories I have, I love a clean house and a Christmas tree, I love Christmas music and I LOVE to give gifts. I love wrapping and writing cards, I love baking and dressing in red. I love wearing Christmas pins (I have about 20- yes, I'm 90 years-old) and I love going to the mall at Christmas time, getting a coffee and watching people scurry around before I return home to my beautiful home with my gorgeous tree and my perfectly wrapped presents. I love it!

I love snow. I love the clean smell of the air, I love the footprints of tiny chihuahuas, I love putting Bing and Manny in a sweater. I love snow. I love to ski, ice-skate, and snow-shoe. I love to bundle up and I love watch the snow fall. I'm a sap. I love this time of year. Anytime after September 15(ish) and I'm sold until around the middle of March.

This our "First Christmas" in our new home as husband and wife.

Oui like that idea very much.

Top Ten Tuesday: Ten things I'll never eat

10: Crow: Metaphorically speaking. I have a very hard time admitting I'm wrong or saying I'm sorry; not my best quality but, at least I'm honest.

9. Weird Cheeses: I am extremely picky when it comes to cheese. I like American, mozzarella, and cheddar cheese; that's pretty much it unless you count cream cheese. I especially HATE feta cheese, blue cheese and those little cheeses wrapped in red wax. Who peels cheese before they eat it?

8. Peeps: First off, they're gritty- like toothpaste at the dentist; like chewing sand. Second, they taste like artificial marshmallow and they’re scary looking. When I was a little girl I had a neighbor over, my sister and I didn't really like her, but she came over one day anyway. That night, when I went to put on my sleeper, (footed pajamas rule) there was a chewed up peep in the sleeve. Apparently the girl who came over didn't like peeps either and decided to tell me in no uncertain terms. It was traumatizing.

7. Beets: They taste like blood.

6. Sushi: It's just so weird. I won't do it and you can’t make me.

5. Anything Mint: I hate peppermint and spearmint gum. I suffer every time I brush my teeth (the cinnamon toothpaste sucks, as does every other flavor- I just don't get that "clean feeling.") The worst thing to pair with mint? Chocolate. Chocolate and mint makes me gag. I even hate York's Peppermint Patties and Junior Mints.

4. Nestlé’s Crunch (or any kind of crackly/crunchy chocolate): Blech!

3. Melon: Any kind of melon, honeydew, watermelon, cantaloupe (Is that a melon? It doesn't matter I still hate it.)

2. Lobster: Oh, how I wish I loved lobster. My whole family loves lobster and when they eat it they make it look all tasty and juicy. I try it every time just hoping... but nope...

1. The ends of anything: Okay, so this is just a weird "Jessi" thing, but I can't eat the ends of anything. I'm not talking about the last bite of a sub, I talking about the end of a hot-dog or sausage, the tip of a banana or pickle. It grosses me out for some reason. I'm neurotic, I know.

Menu Monday: The best ever creamy hot cocoa

I love hot cocoa. I really Really REALLY love hot cocoa. One thing that's unfortunate about hot cocoa are the little packets of gritty chocolate that Little Miss "Swiss Miss" tries to pass off as cocoa. I don't buy it and it tastes horrible (unless you eat it in desperation, dry; chewing it like sand just to get a chocolate fix. Not that I've ever done it...)

So, in a quest to find the perfect hot cocoa, I came across a recipe a few years back and now I won't have any other type of hot cocoa (unless it's from this little cafe in the Berkshires or Starbucks.) So, my friends, here is the secret recipe I covet a few times per month. It's simple and totally amazing!

Creamy Hot Cocoa:

1. 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2. 3/4 cup white sugar
3. 1/3 cup boiling water
4. 3 1/2 cups milk
5. 3/4 tsp. vanilla extract
6. 1/2 cup half-and-half cream

Combine the cocoa and sugar in a saucepan. Blend in the boiling water. Bring this mixture to an easy boil while you stir. Simmer and stir for about 2 minutes. Watch that it doesn't burn. Stir in 3-1/2 cups of milk and heat until very hot. Remove from heat and add vanilla. Divide between 4 mugs. Add the cream to the mugs of cocoa to cool it to drinking temperature.

For good measure I usually add mini-marshmellows and/or whipped cream and I have this special sugar from Harry & David that I put on anything chocolate.

** This recipe serves four and it is RICH! I have yet to ever be able to drink more than one cup in a sitting. You can put the leftovers in a sealed container and reheat in the microwave when you're ready for more**

Photographic Friday: Bing's Birthday Bash

Yes, I celebrate my God's Dog's birthdays.
Yes, I photograph the moment.
Yes, they get candles which we "pretend" they blow out.
Yes, I am missing a few marbles when it comes to my animals.

Here are the pictures from 11.29.09- Big Boy Bing's 5th Birthday Bash!

He was fed a king's breakfast in their special bowls.

Finishing up his E-G-G's (we don't use the word "eggs" in this house, instead we spell it out.) Bing and Manny do understand English, thus the word "eggs" would get them anxious, so we spell it. They have yet to catch on...

Daddy let him lick the plate but pretended to mind for my sake... (I'm pretty strict about certain foods but we all know Aaron is the softy.)

 After a big breakfast he took a nap on his bench in the sun.

Later in the evening it was present time (I spent $40 at PetSmart earlier in the day... but I told Aaron it was only $20. Shhhhh!)

Bing, saying thank you.

"Is there more, Mama?"

Of course!

Waldo was soon discarded for the next best thing...

A treat filled toy!!!

If you tell Bing, "Say thank you!" He'll kiss you. Yes, I trained him to do that. Jealous?

Daddy got to feed him the dog-cream with Bing's favorite toy, "Wee-zell" looking on.

"Fun" Fact Thursday: Be the Match

Today's facts aren't so much "fun" as they are necessary and important.

Many of you know, in October 2007, I was a bone marrow donor for a complete stranger. Well, someone who was once a complete stranger.

• The process was not painless
• The recovery was not speedy
• Doctors basically drilled holes into the bones in my lower back and took out over a liter of bone marrow
• It was the best thing I have ever done and I would do it again and again and again
• Today I'm fine, healthy, and I have no lasting side-effects

I just received word today that my recipient, Ashley, has relapsed. She had a growth pressing on her spine and when it was examined and biopsied it was found to be leukemia.

I hate cancer.

Ashley has had two transplants and she has undergone chemo and radiation off and on for over two years.

Please, please, please keep my sweet Ashley in your thoughts. It really isn't fair and I'm very angry today. I feel helpless, so the only way I can act is by educating others.

If you want to do more, here's what you can do:

Go to http://www.marrow.org/index.html

• Read about the different types of donation
• Educate yourself.
• If you're interested in possibly saving someone's life, join the registry. It's easy. Simply click "Join" and answer a few questions, a test kit will be sent to your home where you can do your own cheek swab for registration purposes.

If you don't want to register then donate to the cause, give blood, or pass on the word. Just do something.

Your generosity could save someone, anyone; someone like Ashley.

For more information about my donation, go directly to my blog http://aaron-jessi-ispy.blogspot.com/ (if you're reading this on facebook) and in the right hand margin under "labels" click on "The Harvest." This will link you to all the posts about my donation.

Wednesday, Oui: "Pep"

Last Monday (the 23rd) I made my annual trip up to Portland to go Christmas shopping with my mother, pick up the farm fresh turkey she raised for me, and have lunch with my Pepe (pronounced Pep-pay; the spelling seems to confuse people).

This has been a tradition in our family for what must be about 8 years now. We always do it the Monday before Thanksgiving, we always meet in Portland, we always go shopping at the Christmas Tree Shop, and we always take Pepe out for lunch.

I'm so scared this was the last time this tradition included bringing Pepe out to lunch. Pepe is not doing very well and, every time I see him, he seems to be a little worse than the last. It kills me. I love my Pepe, probably more than I can even put into words and growing up, he was always the MOST important person to me (well, he and my sister always fought for that title ;) I honestly don't know what I'm going to do when...

So how is this a Oui, you ask? How is this a happy-go-lucky-make-you-smile story?

Well, I've been thinking a lot about my Pepe. When I think of recent times I've seen him one of those times includes the wedding.

I clearly remember being in the bathroom at the venue, putting on the last finishing touches before I got into my dress when my sister came into the bathroom where we were getting ready. She looked at me with eyes  I know so well that I can read them and she said, "Jessi, Pepe is here." I put my make-up away and walked out of the bathroom to find him, tears already running down my face.

He was sitting in a chair, waiting for me, looking so handsome. I walked over to him and I just cried. For months after I got engaged there was only one concern I had about the wedding- the only time I agonized over the guest list, the only thing that could possibly have gone wrong on that day; Pepe wouldn't have made it. The only way Pepe wouldn't have made it was if he wasn't with us (I can't even bring myself to say the word, let alone type it.)

To know Pepe you have to know that he is one of the smartest, bravest, and sweetest men alive. He has several ailments right now, and a couple forms of cancer. I'm not going to get into the extent of his health issues because that's personal to our family, but when I say he is in pain every day, he is in pain. It's probably a pain that would cripple you or I, but Pepe takes it because he loves life so much that he's just glad to be here. He is the strongest person I know and I knew, regardless of his pain, if he were here on 10.10.09 he would be at the wedding. And he was.

When I think of the wedding I think of three times in particular. The first is when I walked out of the bathroom to see him. He wasn't wearing a tie, per my request, because I wanted him to wear one that matched the wedding party. He couldn't stand to greet me so I knelt beside him, resting my head on his knee, crying. "What's all the fuss about? This is supposed to be a happy day, dear." (He has always called me "dear," but pronounced with a Maine accent which sounds more like "d-ya") "I know, Pepe, I'm just so happy you're here and I just love you so much." I replied, through sobs. To which he said, "I do you too, d-ya." I looked up at him. He always says "I do you too." It's like he catchphrase. I also noticed the tears in his eyes. He knows. He knows how I feel, he knows he doesn't have much time left and I know he worries about me. I really need to do a better job at being brave, like him, when I'm around him. To lighten the mood he added. "Well, I hope you didn't think you were gonna get married without me bein' he-ya. Now, where's my tie?"

I tried, three times, to tie it beautifully; failing each time. I'd like to blame it on the fact that I couldn't see through the tears welled up in my eyes, but that'd be a lie. I just can't tie a tie. "Pepe, it looks awful, do you want me to get someone else to do it for you?" "No d-ya, you did just fine. I wanted you to tie it."

I told him I needed to go get ready and gave him several kisses and hugs before I left his side, crying... almost hysterically. As I walked away I noticed my "new family" Jim, Linda and Matt looking on. I had no idea we even had an audience at this point because when I'm with Pepe the rest of the world just fades out. But I recall looking back at my new family and seeing all three of them standing there, wiping their eyes. "What a spectacle I must be" I thought, then I added in my mind "I wonder why they are crying, too?"

The second moment at the wedding was when I walked down the aisle to have Pepe and my Father give me away. That was the sweetest moment in my life so far. The pictures captured that day are a testament to how I felt. Since the wedding, I've been given several different versions of the moment when I walked up to and stood beside my grandfather, in front of my husband, next to my family, with the people I love standing behind me. In each picture the love I have for Pepe is clear on my face, but I noticed something else in those pictures; at that very moment in time other people, guests, and friends are crying too. I've seen several pictures, at several different angles, and a few people were crying. "I wonder why they're crying?" I thought.

Over the past couple months I've given this a lot of thought. Were others crying because I was? (The "I can't see someone cry rule?") or were they crying because most know that Pepe's time with me (us) is limited? Or were they crying because they too have love(d) someone like that? I think the answer is yes to all of the above, but after giving it more thought, and thinking about the people who I saw cry that day, I realize it probably has nothing to do with witnessing the amount of love I have for this man. They are crying because they love me- because they know. They know me. They get it.

The third moment happened without me even knowing until recently, when I watched the wedding video. When I was planning the wedding I knew I wanted to formally acknowledge my Pepe. I knew he wouldn't be able to dance, I knew he would have had much difficultly walking me down the aisle and I knew I couldn't have him in the part where the wedding party and parents were introduced (he wouldn't be able to walk to his seat alone because sometimes he falls.) So, instead, I had the DJ make an announcement to acknowledge Pepe. So, in that moment... in a room of 100 guests, the ones closest to me removed and waiting to be called in, the DJ announced my grandfather; thanking him for being there, and telling him that we love him. The room erupted. How? I thought. How come all the people who are closest to me are in one room and everyone is still screaming for Pepe? Screaming HARD. How did they know? A month later, watching the video, I was grateful and knew each person on that list deserved to be there, I needed them there.

That is a oui- without a doubt.

My Pepe is not the only amazing person in my life. I have many. That's how I know when "the time comes" I will be broken but "okay." I have amazing people to support and love me. My Pepe raised me to be strong and brave. I won't disappoint him.

I'm just not ready yet.

Top Ten Tuesday: World Aids Day

Today is World AIDS Day.
What do you know about HIV/AIDS?

According to UNAIDS.com estimates, there are now 33.2 million people living with HIV, including 2.5 million children.

10 Facts about HIV/AIDS...Did you know:

1. You cannot get HIV from shaking hands or hugging a person with HIV/AIDS.
2. You cannot get HIV from using a public telephone, drinking fountain, restroom, swimming pool, Jacuzzi, or hot tub.
3. You cannot get HIV from sharing a drink.
4. You cannot get HIV from being coughed or sneezed on by a person with HIV/AIDS.
5. You cannot get HIV from giving blood.
6. You cannot get HIV from a mosquito bite.
7. There are approximately 33.2 million people living with HIV, including about 2.5 children.
8. Half of all children living with HIV will die before their second birthday.
9. It takes about 14-weeks for HIV to incubate in the body. This means it can go undetected for over 3 months.
10. When AIDS was first "discovered" it was called GRIDS (Gay-related-immunodeficiency-syndrome) because it was thought to occur mostly in homosexual men... but (THANKFULLY) the disease was renamed somewhere between 1982 and 1984 when scientists realized that the disease does not discriminate between humans.

http://www.aids.gov/basic/101/index.html

Educate yourself and find out what you can do to help fight this global epidemic.