September 11, 2009

Every year in honor of September 11, I have posted something meaningful about the day that changed America, or about where I was when it happened. This year, I am going to post something a little funny about the events that took place for me after September 11. **There is nothing funny about September 11th, the tradegy or the loss. But something that happened to me around that time, I think, deserves a chuckle.

I am sorry if what I post is offensive to anyone... actually wait, no I'm not- free speech (thank you, America)

So when September 11th took place, I was living in Orono, Maine. The day it happened I was actually in school (Husson University) and it was a Tuesday. That day I shared the same terror/horror/sorrow every other American, foreign and domestic, experienced. For weeks afterward I was so scared and so depressed; I would stay up for hours glued to the T.V.

The day after the tragedy I was laying on the couch watching TV when there was a knock at my door. I opened it up to find two Jehovah's Witness' standing before me. Feeling extremely vulnerable and missing "God" anyway, I let them in. They talked to me about Christ and how I needed to welcome Him back into my heart.

I'm Catholic. Well, sorta, still. A little bit. Or at least I want to be. I just haven't figured out my relationship with the Almighty, yet. Anyway, I digress. So, I let these people in. We talked, I felt a little better just being around their faith. I knew it wasn't for me, but it felt nice to see people so strong in their beliefs at a time when I felt so weak.

Then they started showing up everyday and calling me by my first name. I was too busy for this. I didn't have time for them everyday. I didn't want to partake. I was just feeling vulnerable on September 12. I was healing. I didn't need 5 books of faith and the Watchtower Magazine left between my doors everyday.

For weeks, they would come back and witness to me. I grew really tired of it. I told them on several occasions that I wasn't interested but I appreciated their care and concern and.... recruitment.

Finally one day, right around the time Anthrax was making news shortly after September 11th, the hand of Christ again knocked at my door.

Having enough, I opened the door. The two familiar faces were staring at me.

JW: Good Morning, Jessi
J: Hi. (abruptly)
JW: May we come in this morning?
J: (remembering the rules of every Sci-Fi book I've ever read: they can't come in unless you invite them in, right?) No, this is not a good time. I have to get going. (I was in my glasses and pajamas but contemplated leaving for the car in my current state of attire just to prove a point.)
JW: Well, when would be a good time?
J: Um, honestly, never.
JW: Jessi, we should really talk about that decision.
J: (Suddenly, I knew the answer) How do you feel about homosexuality?
JW: We believe marriage is between a man and a woman. Homosexuality is not the choice Christ intended.
J: (Laughing on the inside because, not only do I fully support same-sex marriage and relationships, I also vehemently deny the fact that homosexuality is a "choice." ) Well, then I have to tell you, I'm a lesbian.

They never returned.

Maybe next week I'll tell you about the Army recruiter that pestered me for weeks until, sadly, I had to inform him that I was an amputee.

Remembering

"Real peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice."
-Martin Luther King Jr.

Today is a profoundly sad day for me. It seems every time September 11th rolls around I am struck with a deep sorrow; a sadness for my life, my country, my future, and for those who lost someone 7 years ago today. There is so much I could say about today. So many angles I could process it from, so many questions run through my mind. I could blog about this event every year and still not be any closer to peace and justice.

I still can't wrap my head around the events of that day. I can't imagine being on a airplane, going on a business trip or a vacation with my family, only to die at the hands of a terrorist. I can't imagine getting a phone call from a loved one who has to tell me, terrified and helpless, that they are going to die. I can't imagine going to work and dying in my office building. I can't imagine waiting, helplessly, to find out if someone I love has died. I can't fathom the years of planning it took on the part of the terrorists to hurt America so badly and make it so vulnerable in the matter of hours.

In a lot of ways I am very lucky that I have been so indirectly affected by the events of September 11, 2001. Yet still, in so many ways, terrorism has affected my life and will continue to do so in ways I'm not even sure about yet.

Through these feelings of sadness, fear, and anger trickles in another feeling; hope. I hope for a better future for my children, my family, and myself. I hope the events of September 11th are always remembered. I hope those who have given their lives, both directly (soldiers, victims of the attacks) and indirectly (family of the victims, women who watch the news everyday hoping their US Soldier is unscathed) are honored.

I don't think there is a solution to what happened that day. I don't know that we have always done the right thing, (our reaction to the attacks) and I'm not sure I even know what justice is anymore. What I do know is until tolerance is universally taught we are never going to stop the world from fighting.

We pray today that from the ashes will rise a new spirit of beauty and unity in America. Already, all across this nation our hearts have been knit together into a new tapestry of one America. Because of this tragedy, we have been bound together by a silver chord of hope and brotherhood and sisterhood. What was meant to drive us apart has really drawn us together.
May we always remember.
-Reverend Wintley Phipps

Do you remember where you were...

Usually I wait until the end of the night to post something, as Aaron and I talk about our day and the things we are grateful for. I knew the minute I woke up this morning what I have to be thankful for.

As a kid I remember hearing the adults I was exposed to ask, "Do you remember where were you when Kennedy was shot?" or "Where were you on D-day?" I specifically recall thinking "Thank God I will never have anything like that to remember." Last night Aaron said to me over dinner, "Where were you 6 years ago tomorrow?"

I remember exactly where I was. I was on my way to school at Husson University. I was on the interstate and listening to the radio. The first plane had hit the Trade Tower, and I thought "how does that happen?" I assumed it was a small private plane that miscalculated and crashed. I had been to the Trade Towers a couple years earlier and found it amazing that someone would "miss" them in the NYC skyline and accidentally crash. Then came the news; there was a second impact, and they weren't planes they were jets full of people, and it was no accident.

The rest of that day was blur. I remember being glued to the T.V. holding out hope- even weeks later- that someone would be pulled, alive, from the rubble. I recall the outpouring of patriotism, which has since disappeared, and I remember feeling more fragile and vulnerable than at any point in my

I was profoundly affected by the events that happened 6 years ago today. I am thankful for my life, my privilege, my safety, and my freedom to pursue happiness. I thank the men and women who gave their life for our country. I am devastated that I have "September 11th to remember" and I will never forget where I was 6 years ago today.

My question: Do you remember where you were 6 years ago today, and what are you thankful for? Please post in the comments below.