Under our Tree

Lately I've seen posts, on various blogs I read and on Facebook, where people are discussing the gifts they've purchased for their children. I always find it interesting to see what kids are into and what types of things parents buy. So, I'm joining in.

Up until a few weeks ago, I thought I was pretty much all set and prepped for Christmas; thinking the shopping for my little family was complete... when Toby decided it wasn't.

See, my kid (almost) never asks for anything. We can easily walk in and out of a store and he won't shed a tear or expect that he will leave with something new. I really don't know how this came to be because it's super common but, I suspect it might have something to do with us not giving him toys for "no good reason."  Toby doesn't have a lot of toys; our house isn't overrun with toys (don't worry, he does have enough.) I just don't think it's necessary, nor do we have the space for a million tiny tinker toys.

Alas, I digress. As I was saying, our kid never asks for anything. So, at the beginning of the month, when we wrote our Santa letter, I asked him what he wanted. I expected him to look at me blankly and just say something about Santa, or something completed non-sequitur to the task at hand. 

However he looked at me clear as day, and said, "a camera." I was shocked. I immediately asked him to repeat himself and he said, "Toby needs a camera." I digested it for a second, wrote camera on the Santa letter and then looked at him and said, "okay, anything else?" He said, "Yeah. Green chair." So, I added those two items to the letter. Because he never really asks for anything I obliged and bought a few last minute gifts for him.

So, in case anyone out there still needs ideas for their little loves, here is what will be under the tree for our appreciative toddler:

Originally, his Santa gift was supposed to be an easel. He is really into art, especially painting. I could put on some toddler tunes and give him a paint brush and he'd be good for hours. So, we bought him this easel.

And we also bought some new art supplies to help him set up his "art studio."

His "big gift" was supposed to be the tickets we bought him to see Laurie Berkner in January.

But honestly, I couldn't say no when he actually requested something from Santa. So, now, he's getting too much for Christmas this year. (Note to self: next year ask him what he wants from Santa BEFORE shopping.)

There are a few other odds and ends we purchased that will be from us.

• The Willy Wonka DVD (original)
• An adorable "Ah-ah" shirt from Old Navy ("Ah-ah" = Curious George)
• A few Books: The Gruffalo, The Giving Tree and The Treasury of Paddington Bear
• Alphabet Zoop (click link)

Now his Santa gift will be his stocking, his "green chair" and his "camera."

This is the "green chair" we ended up getting Toby. It was a toss up between two chairs; one at  Land of Nod (link attached) and one at Pottery Barn Kids. I ended up going with Land of Nod because their chair was a little bit bigger and I want him to get many years of use out of it. Obviously I had it personalized with his name, not "Harry" (this is just the stock photo.)

His "camera" (I honestly have NO IDEA what possessed him to ask for the two things he asked for) is just a little Fisher Price play camera. Never-the-less, he will LOVE IT.

And lastly, I did purchase something, completely from the heart, that I don't think he will appreciate right now, but later in life he will.

My mother, who has a very special relationship with Toby, always sings him the same song, Baby Bunting. It's a really old song and many people might not even know it. He loves it. He always ask Meme to sing him "Bylo." She'll cradle him like a baby, swaying back and forth, and sing it to him. He will smile and you can see that he feels like a million bucks. It's very precious to watch.

A few weeks ago, while visiting my Mom in Maine, she and I went antiquing. Unbelievably, I actually found this piece of sheet music. I purchased it without even looking at the price; I needed it. It's currently at the framer and I'll hang it in his nursery above his bed.

Coincidentally, I really think that little kid in the picture looks like Toby too.

So, there you have it. That's what's under our tree. What's under yours?

Toby's Christmas Box: Year 2

As I wrote last year, we started the tradition of giving Toby a "Christmas Box" the first of December. (Don't remember last year's post? Click here.)

Monday, December 1st, after bringing Toby to Barnes & Noble to hear a reading of "The Grinch" we gave him his Christmas box which was packed with Yuletide goodies. True to the promise I made last year, I saved $1 every week and didn't spend more than that on the contents of his box. [We actually had a little bit left over- which will start off next year's fund!]

The items include (from left to right)

1. Sandra Boynton's "Bob" book. Super super super cute.

2. Rudolph coloring book

3. Rudolph keepsake ornament that he BEGGED for.

4. His "Story a Day Until Christmas" came back out of storage and it goes in his Christmas box because we start reading one story out of it per night.

5-7. Two pairs of Christmas pajamas and the next size up in his GAP slippers. (This is now our 3rd pair of these slippers. We are in size large... GAP only sells them to XL.)

8. Chocolate Advent Calendar. We were able to find the exact same calendar as last year!

9. 3 packets of hot cocoa for the Christmas Parade

10. Chocolate covered marshmallow reindeer. The kid loves these.

11. A new Christmas plate

12-13. Two Christmas movies: Frozen and Curious George's A Very Monkey Christmas

14. Popcorn for the movies

We lit the tree and put some Christmas music on

 While at Barnes & Noble earlier Aaron picked up a giant rice krispie treat for us to share with eggnog, of course. (I'm actually doing a cleanse, so I didn't eat it) :(

 

 After we were done opening his box, we did Day 1 of our other Advent calendar. Our kid is going to get cavities every December!

 We read the first story in our "Story a Day Until Christmas"

And finally it was time for new jammies and bed! He loves having a Christmas tree in his room.

I'm really glad we started this tradition. I'm super grateful that Toby is so appreciative of the things we do for him. He kept giving us kisses and hugs after each item he took out of the box. Children reinvent the holiday season and bring back such a sense of nostalgia. I love seeing Christmas through his eyes. We have many things planned for him this month. While we fully intend on spoiling him, we also want him to learn what the spirit of Christmas is truly about.

Toby's new "crib"

Okay, so Toby doesn't have a new "crib." He has exactly the opposite of a crib.

TOBY HAS A BIG BOY BED!

A few weeks ago he attempted to climb out of his crib during nap time. I spent the majority of that nap staring intently at his monitor, watching his every move, ready to pounce should he try to escape. He went a couple of weeks without any further attempts and I thought nothing more of it.

Until.

Saturday 9/13/14 I put him down for his nap; business as usual. About 20 minutes later, I heard the toilet flush upstairs. I ran up to find him playing in the bathroom. He took one look at me with his little "I know I did something naughty but, I'm going to make myself look irresistibly cute" smirk and said, "Mama- me boo-boo." That was when I knew it was time. While I enjoyed him being in a crib (read: it was easier for us to know he couldn't wander) I knew he could now escape. So, it was time.

Remember last week when I posted about not paying attention to "the lasts?" This is exactly what I'm talking about. Little did I know that when we put him to bed on Friday, September 12, that would be the "last" time he slept in a crib. It makes me want to pay close attention to every single thing that happens with him. If only I could turn back the hands of time and kiss him goodnight on that Friday evening, knowing it was his last crib night. I know, I'm being dramatic. I'm allowed.

Anyway, we took the side off his crib to make it into a day bed and I just really really disliked the way it looked; it reminded me of a hospital bed. So, last weekend, we made the journey to IKEA to pick up a few things (and even got him a new toddler bed!) On Sunday, we spent the entire day doing a little "mini makeover" to his nursery.

While I still wanted to keep the theme nursery-like (meaning, I'm not moving on to trucks or dinosaurs or whatever I predict he will want in the near future) I did make his room feel a little more big-boy-esque.

Toby has a thing for puppets. Mama has a thing for organization. Papa Dan has a thing for woodworking... so, Toby has stands for all his puppets.

This is his "new" reading nook. I used to have a chair here for when I'd rock and nurse him to sleep. *sigh*

 We added a little bookshelf on the side and put some of his very favorite books there.

His crib used to be against that back wall- on the slope. Taking it out really opened up the room and perfectly fits his new big boy bed and his rocking chair. We also added an additional bookshelf here to hold his nighttime prayer books/bed books.

He actually picked out his own comforter at IKEA. He picked one with frogs, foxes, owls, and other woodland creatures. I was relieved because if he had picked an airplane or dinosaur one, it wouldn't have really fit with his artwork/mural, but thank goodness he's still liking the theme I picked for him.

  

 

Forget the cat- Don't kill curiosity

I haven't written in almost two months. Perhaps it's because I'm really busy right now. Or it could be because I have a touch of writer's block. Or maybe it's that, lately, I'm really turned off by the artificial environment created via social networking. Whatever the reason, I feel compelled to write about an experience with Toby last night... I want to remember it.

We recently purchased Preschool Prep as an educational tool. (We love it, by the way) But, because we are pretty strict with our screen time policies, we only allow Toby to watch one "episode" per day. Fortunately (and unfortunately) Toby loves it. Which means he asks for it ALL.THE.TIME. (He calls it "Tee-tee.") Last night, after the millionth time he asked for "Red Tee-tee" (the Meet the Colors DVD in the Preschool Prep pack) we told him, "Tee-tee is broken."

Was that the right thing to do? I don't know. Should we have lied to him? Maybe not. Should we give in and let him watch it any time he wants? Who knows? I'm not sure of the answers to any of these questions but, I've surrendered to the idea that often there are no definitive answers when it comes to parenting.

After telling him Tee-tee was broken, the following conversation took place:

Toby: "Tee-tee again!"
Jessi: "No, buddy. Tee-tee is broken, remember?"
Toby: "Mama, me fix Tee-tee."
Aaron: "You think you can fix Tee-tee?"
Toby: "Yep. Me fix Tee-tee. Watch Red. Mote?"

We didn't hesitate and, instead, handed him the "mote" (remote.) He fiddled around with it for a few minutes while Aaron and I watched. (We had discretely unplugged the television so the remote would not have worked.) After a few minutes Toby said, "Tee-tee gone" and that was the end of it. He moved on.

Later, after we put Toby to bed, I said to Aaron "Isn't it cute that he thought he could fix the television? I wonder why he thought he could fix it?" Aaron simply said, "He believes in himself. He has no reason to think he couldn't fix it."

The conversation ended and we moved on but, I thought a lot about that for the rest of the night. One of my biggest parenting fears is the overarching fact that things are out of my control. I can't control the people in his life who show little interest in him. I can't stop the kids at school who may someday cut him down. I can't (and won't) prevent his failures. However, it does pain to me think of the ways the world will take things from him that he will never noticed he had.

It really reminded me of this book I read in graduate school about philosophy in relation to "self" and building security and autonomy. The author discussed how a child will want to stop (usually when we are in a rush) to point out a "doggy" or a flower . We (the parent/adult or, one could argue, society) forces them into complacency: "Yes! That's a doggy! It's just a doggy. Let's go- we're late!" And with that, we've shamed them for being curious. Instead of reinforcing the vulnerable moment in which we can facilitate exploration, we squash it. That may be the last time they are curious about that something for the first time. We are always looking forward to the firsts, but we never pay attention to the lasts.

Alas, I digress.

The point is, Toby thought he could fix the television. At two-years-old, he thought that he could fix an electronic device without any knowledge about electricity. I have a masters degree yet, I can't figure out how to work my cell phone half the time; I'm intimidated by most electronics. However, my son thinks he can fix a television. More over, he wants to take a shot doing something that will, in the end, get him what he wants (Red Tee-tee.)

In honor of full disclosure, on another day we might have said, "Toby, you can't fix the television. You're not watching Red Tee-tee again. You know the rules." But, for this moment in time, for a precious minute, we surrendered to his curiosity-- to his belief that he can do anything-- and we stood by and let him fail. We didn't rub it in. We didn't say, "See! You can't fix the television!" We just surrendered. One thing I am learning is to pick my battles (and with a toddler, he gives me many opportunities to pick and choose.)

I guess what I'm really wondering about is when we stop believing in ourselves? While I think our (dis)abilities become more explicit when we grow and are able to reason, I think it goes deeper. Where do we lose the ability to really believe in our "self"?  On a play ground? At a family gathering? On Facebook? In our manager's office? Via a "thin envelope" from our "safe school?" Or, could it really be when our curiosity is squashed??? When we prevent someone from trying something they might fail? Or by assuming failure is inevitable?

I'm not sure.

Clearly parenting is no joke. It comes with so many doubts and questions. But, I think I'm going to surrender to my own curiosity more often... and certainly nurture his. I want him to trust himself enough to try- but have the wisdom to know his possibilities. I want him to be curious and sometimes that means I have to let go of adult logic and, frankly, get the hell out of the way.

It's an O.C.D thing: You just wouldn't understand...

There are certain things a person with O.C.D just can't handle and, unless you have O.C.D, you're incredibly anal, or you're a perfectionist... you just won't get it.

Now, I say "O.C.D" very loosely. Do I diagnostically fit into the category of Obsessive Compulsive? Nope. But, tongue in cheek, I'm definitely anal. So, on this rainy Monday, I'm going to supply you with 10 things this person with "O.D.C" struggles with:

1. Pumping gas: Okay, so not only is the pump disgustingly dirty (who knows who touched that thing?!) let's talk about how hard it is to get the money on the dollar. I wonder how many dollars I've overpaid big oil companies in my quest to just pump in "a few more cents" to get to an "even" amount. Still, it doesn't stop there. It's not just pumping gas, it's making sure one million times, once or twice that I put the gas cap back on my tank. Then it's smelling my hands (repeatedly) to verify I didn't spill a drop of gas on them.

2. ATM Withdrawals: Okay, so before I even write about this, I need to first address a larger issue. I go NUTS when people say they need to go to an ATM Machine. Do we not realize ATM stands for automatic teller machine? So when you say, "I need to hit up an ATM machine." What you're really saying is, "I need to hit up an automatic teller machine machine.*" (*Note: even spell check wanted me to delete the repeated word there.) Alas, I digress. Anyway, visiting the ATM is wrought with difficulty for a paranoid OCD'er, vigilant person. First, you have to pull up close enough to reach the machine and not hit anything. Then you need to trust that the machine is not going to suck your card into the unknown depths of its belly while making sure you don't hit the wrong buttons. Further, you need to verify that you hit the right amount, $40, not $400 and proceed to freak out that the money is going to blow away in the wind before you grab it... or that you'll leave your card sitting there too long and it will get sucked back in. After all this, you'll drive off after hitting cancel one million times so the thief in your rear view doesn't take your money. But first you need to just pull over real quick to double check you got your card back. Then you drive another minute and stop to count the cash while having the following internal conversation: "Would they really believe you if the machine didn't give you enough? What if it gave you too much? Because, I could see how that could happen, some of these bills are sticky. Would they even know if it gave you too much? Would they call you? Yes, they have it all on camera. Keep driving, you look shady...Wait, is the person behind me sticking in their card? Yes. Good, you're safe. Crap, is that MY receipt hanging out of the machine? How did I forget that? Oh, well. It doesn't have my account number on it. Right? Does it? Shoot. Should I call the bank and cancel my card?"

3. Opening and stirring a new jar of peanut butter: If you don't buy organic and/or natural peanut butter you have no idea what I'm talking about. But if you do, you totally know. Stirring peanut butter can be an hour long affair. "Is it really mixed? I don't want the stuff on the bottom to be dry. And I don't want it lumpy. Shit, I just spilled a little over the side of the jar. Now it's not going to have its full creaminess. AND the label is going to look greasy. Ugh, I can't stand a greasy label. I can't wait until this jar is gone."

4. Losing a chapstick that you've been working to finish for the last 2 months: I really don't need to elaborate here. This is just such a profound loss. You will forever lack that sense of completion.

5. Grocery shopping: I mean, really. Once I get past sanitizing the cart handle, the shopping is all down hill from there. "Why is there a random bag of chips in the aisle with toilet paper? And look at that poor yogurt out of the refrigerator section. That's so sad. It's going to spoil. Perhaps I should put it back? I wonder how long it's been out? Maybe I should just tell a clerk. It probably shouldn't go back, it could already be spoiled and then someone will buy it on accident and maybe get sick. Did I buy yogurt this week? Yes. Let me feel it. Does that feel warm? I need to go back and get a new one from the BACK of the refrigerator."

6. Wrinkly commutes: The white knuckle 25 minute commute to work knowing full well the seat belt is wrinkling the shirt you freshly pressed and starched this morning. Then the subsequent horror of getting to work and noticing your child wiped their face on the shoulder of your sweater... But not wanting to wipe it off because it is sweet and you remember exactly when they did that earlier in the morning... but still, do you really want snot on your shoulder all day long?

7. Chipped toenail polish. Just cut my feet off. I can't even look at them.

8. Car wash: Driving anywhere near dirty cars in which someone wrote in the dirt on them. You know what I'm talking about. Those "wash me" cars. Ugh.

9. Black, please: When asked to sign an important document, or endorse the back of a check, and you're handed a blue ink pen. Followed immediately by that moment when you briefly contemplate how crazy you would appear if you asked for black ink.

10. Restaurant silverware: Is that a water spot? Or is that food? How many mouths has this fork seen? I bet at least one of the people had bloody gums. Dear Lord.

Aaron, the Disney expert

If you know me, at all, you know that I've never been a fan of Disney movies. I won't get into a long tirade about this but, it's true. There are a few really good ones that I appreciate (The Lion King, Mary Poppins, The Jungle Book, and a few others) but the list is short.

I'm just not a fan (mostly, I just detest animation.) When I was little (little being around 5-years-old) I would much rather have watched Sally Jesse Raphael, Geraldo or, my favorite, Quincy (imagine a 1980's show about a coroner. Yeah, that's what I would beg my mom to let me watch.) Alas, I digress. I was a weird kid. I'm a weird adult. We know this.

When I met Aaron he made some reference, quoting Dory (the fish.) When I looked at him sideways, he was floored to discover that I had never experienced Finding Nemo. I stopped watching Disney after The Lion King came out (that was the last of the best [IMHO.]) It was only about 2 years ago when I finally relented and watched it. I'd say, in this marriage, our (lack of) Disney knowledge is equally limited. I've seen a few movies that he hasn't and vice-versa. Neither of us are experts.

However, this afternoon, Aaron surpassed me. (Whether or not this is a "victory" is yet to be determined.)

Let me set the scene. We had just arrived home from attending a musical at a local theater. Aaron was making lunch while Toby was in his highchair waiting to eat. I had just come inside from walking the dogs and I interrupted Aaron belting out a song which was playing on Pandora.

A: (singing) "And I'll reread the books... If I have time to spareeeee. I'll paint the walls some more, I'm sure there's room somewhereeeee. And then I'll brush and brush, and brush and brush my hair..."
J: (interrupting) "Did you ever imagine, EVER, that you'd be making lunch for your kid, singing along to music from Brave??"
A: "Nope. Not in a million years. And actually, that song is from Tangled. Not Brave."

Um....

Toby's Wee-wee

Interesting choice of a title, right? Stay with me, there's a story behind it.

I live on a very busy street and it never really bothered me until I had a child. The worst part of our location is that about 30 yards down our road is a stoplight. Often, if the light is red and it's a busy time of day, a long line of cars accumulate in front of our house. This leads to a myriad of problems: people flicking cigarette butts and litter near our driveway, inappropriate and foul music being blasted from tricked-out ridiculous cars, revving loud pipes of motorcycles outside my sleeping son's bedroom window, and a lack of general privacy when we are out front.

Given all of that, we have a pretty nice/spacious/private backyard which contains our gardens, grill, dining area, and ALL OF TOBY'S OUTDOOR TOYS (swing set, playhouse and the like.) Unfortunately, it's most convenient to use our front door, so this involves walking down our driveway to get to the back- and our road/driveway offers an unruly a curious toddler so many distractions.

This morning, much like every morning, we went outside to play before I had to come in to start getting ready for work. Coming inside before Toby considers himself "all done" is usually a battle and I am always prepared for the fight about to take place when I try to walk him up the driveway. It pretty much looks like your worst nightmare.

This morning, however, we stayed out longer than I would have liked, leaving me very little time to get myself together before I left for work (hence why I look like a total disaster most days.)

As we were walking up the driveway, I noticed a long line of cars indicating the stoplight was red. I began to flush at what I must look like with a kicking/wriggling toddler tucked under my arm. So, I used my trusty bargaining chip. "Wee-wee."

For Toby's 2nd birthday Nana and McPepe gifted him a pretty neat firetruck (click here.) Yes, it's amazing but, a little too intricate for Toby to have full access to all the time. So, we have it stored away and every couple of days we take it out for SUPERVISED play. We don't do this with a lot of his toys, but this one is really nice and I think he'll appreciate it when he's older.

Alas, I digress. Toby calls Fire-trucks "Wee-wees" because that's what he does when he mimics the sound of the siren. So, naturally, we refer to the truck as "Wee-wee."

Remain with me, I'm getting to the point.

So, this morning, I'm wrangling my toddler under my arm, with a death grip as he slides under the sweat that has accumulated on my body (because it's one-million-degrees outside.) If you were waiting in one of the vehicles lining my street this is what you would have been witness to:

T: (kicking and screaming) "Nooooo! DOWN! BOO-BOO! PEE-PEE! CA-CA! CAR! DONE! ALL GONE! MILK!"
J: (probably looking like a train-wreck) "I know you want to stay outside and you're mad that we have to go in!"
T: "DOWNNNNNN!"
J: (panting/out of breath) "Hey! You know what? Mama wants to play with your Wee-wee. Do you want to play with your Wee-wee?"
T: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
J: (trying to maintain composure as there are multiple vehicles [all with their windows down] observing this scene.) "Yes, that's what we'll do! We haven't played with your Wee-wee for few days! Let's play with your wee-wee!"


It wasn't until I got inside and sat down in a puddle of sweat that I realized what that must have sounded like to the audience in front of my house.

I expect DCYF to be showing up at any moment.

Super Toby

When I got home from work on Tuesday evening, I immediately knew there was something wrong with my kid. He was not himself. We didn't think much of it until we sat down to eat dinner and noticed his hand was GIANT. Enormous. Like... whoa. We immediately took him to the doctors.

Just days earlier, when we were at camp, Toby got a few bug bites (or "bah-bites" as he calls them) and began to BLOW UP at the site of the bite. Well, it turns out he has really severe reactions to bites and the doctor thinks he was bitten on his finger. His immune reaction was to form a huge blister and for his little digit to blow up like a bratwurst. Poor thing. We were just told to be diligent about watching out for highly buggy areas and to use bug-repellent. It looks as though Deet is really the "go-to" substance for true protection but, it's a nasty, nasty chemical that I refuse to put on my child. We had been using Burt's Bees for all of us (and our dogs) but a friend recommended this product, so I purchased a couple of bottles. It's highly recommended and not laced with terrible cancer-causing chemicals. Hopefully it will repel the little bloodsuckers waiting to bite my kid.

On Wednesday, when he was feeling a little better, we took him out to dinner and the bookstore. He deserved it.

We spoiled him a bit. And he got a new "Choo-choo" book.

On our way home we stopped at Aaron's Aunt's house because she had a little gift for Toby. She bought him a personalized cape and the cutest little book called "Bumblebee Boy." So adorable. He loved his cape and, after the previous couple of days of just feeling like junk, he needed it.

It's really awful to see your kid sick. In the grand scheme, I have a really healthy kid, so relative to children who have serious illness, it's minor. But, when your little one is under the weather it's bad enough. Our little dude is pretty tough; rarely complains even when he's rocking a fever. He's pretty super.



Toby's Birthday

Our little boy turned TWO on May 23rd. I can't believe he's TWO.

On the 17th we had a small, (immediate family only,) party for him at our house. The theme was, of course, Peter Rabbit. Peter is his lovey and he is rarely seen without him.

A little candy and sweets table. And yes, I made carrot lollipops. 

While Toby did get some really nice gifts, we also asked for donations to a local rescue farm be considered instead. I'm really happy to say that a nice chunk of change was sent to a non-profit farm that Toby enjoys.

My gorgeous niece

I love this little guy

Xander is one of Toby's favorite people


On May 23rd, Toby's actual birthday, Aaron had to work and we were traveling to Maine that evening for the long weekend. We did Toby's presents early; right when he woke up. I think it was around 5:30 AM. 

His "Day out with Thomas" tickets arrived the day before (from my Dad) so we clipped them to a place mat we bought. He is going to be BESIDE himself when he gets to spend the day with "Choo-choo" this summer!

We had been wanting to get him a balance bike, so I put Aaron totally in charge of that (obviously.) We ended up going with the Trek Kickster. Toby LOVED it. Daddy even got him a neat little gatorhorn!

One of my oldest and "bestest" friends, Steph, sent him the basketball hoop. He had no idea it was coming and we set it up the night before. He was so excited!

"What's all this?"

I will admit, the horn, at 5:30AM was a bit... intense.

Only my kid would be excited for clothes.

I can't believe he's TWO. We just love him so much!