Top Ten Tuesday: Failbook

I love Facebook just as much as the next guy. Honestly, what other outlet on the world-wide-web allows you to anonymously creep on people you know (or don't know)? While I don't spend as much time on the social networking site as much of America does, I am creeping around frequently enough to get annoyed by many aspects of Facebook (some of which are the reasons I've been spending even less time on FB.)

10 things that force me to prematurely log off a visit to Facebook:

1. Shocking pictures that are so revealing you have to look away-- coupled by status updates that are so depressing you get up from your computer and wonder why... just why?

2. People who appear confused that "status update" translates to: update your status every second.

3. "Acquaintance friending"-- you briefly meet someone at a function and log on later to find they have friended you.

4. Farmville, Mafia wars, or any other game I have blocked from my profile.

5. Boring status updates that leave you wondering, "Why would you want to broadcast your life if that's all you have to say? I really don't care what you're having for dinner."

6. (To some of my dearest friends, please forgive me) Children as profile pictures. Now, if you're in the picture too, you and I are okay. Otherwise, whenever I encounter your profile, I always say in my head "that's not ____ that's his/her kid".

7. "Repost this in your status" stati. No thank you. Not going to do it.

8. Passive aggressive digs: I will admit it's one of the most painful ways to make a point but it's still immature. I've resisted (and I have a sharp tongue.) Everyone always misinterprets it and internalizes/personalizes it anyway- just fess up and deal with your beef, people.

9. Status games that the rest of the world isn't aware of (posting one word in your status that is intended to bring attention to a specific cause.) If you want to do something for a cause write a check or advocate for the cause. Really, explain to me how posting the color of your bra is going to raise awareness of breast cancer? You post the color and then what? Remember breast cancer exists? Or do you post the color and then run right to your check book and write a big fat check to fund researching a cure?

10. Facebook's sneaky ways of disclosing information about you to the rest of the world which forces you to check and recheck your privacy settings several times per week just to "make sure".

Now, these annoyances alone aren't enough to force me to close my fb account, as the spying outweighs the annoyance. I also understand that my blog's direct stream to facebook probably annoys the crap out of some of my friends... so, consider us even. I'm just sayin'. :)

Earth Day

As we celebrate Earth Day (I heart the Earth) here are a couple of facts and/or things you can do to help keep Earth clean, healthy and beautiful:

Fact: The Recycling Logo consists of three arrows forming a circle. It's known as a "mobius loop."
Fact: Half of all smog-producing emissions could be saved if all cars were well tuned.
Fact: More than 160,000,000 Americans have healthy, clean drinking water thanks to our life-giving forests.

Go to Arborday.org and for every dollar you donate a tree will be planted in a national forest. Skip that coffee this morning and plant two trees! Everyone has at least a buck to spare for the health of our Earth. Can you imagine what would happen if everyone you knew planted just one tree today?

Do it!

Wednesday, Oui? Jewelry Log

When we were at camp last August Dan brought us to his work site where he was sawing wood for a company that builds custom furniture. With the retail store right on site, I took about an hour to peruse the beautiful (and outrageously expensive) furniture, drooling over creations with a price tag surpassing the cost of my vehicle!

While there I found this wooden box expertly made from one log which, I thought, would be the perfect place to store my "special jewelry". Alas, as much as I like to reward myself because I work so hard, I am (believe it or not) VERY stingy. After carrying the log around for the better part of my visit I set it down and walked out of the store nearly empty handed (I bought a small gift for my in-laws).

Last Christmas one of the last gifts I opened from my mother and Dan was my jewelry log. I am SO glad to own such a beautiful and original piece of workmanship and take such pride in storing my most precious baubles in it. It is definitely a piece I will keep in the family for a very long time.

Thanks Mama!

Menu Monday: Chocolate? Chocolate?

I'm back, Baby, I'm back! While I have been managing this blog from afar, I've realized how much writing it actually contributes to my happiness. After pre-writing a few posts this weekend I got up from the computer feeling happier than I have in a long time. It brought to fruition the original reason I started this blog in the first place; to document the happy life I live (forcing me to actively think about the happiness which is liberally spread throughout my life-- instead of dwelling on the negative.)

Man, did I have a hair across my ass for a while there or what? Rest assured, I'm not one of those people who licks her wounds and does nothing about it. I am working to get a change of scenery where the job front is concerned (the hours I work are the main reason for my dissatisfaction [not the job.]) That said, I am going to try to be more deliberate about sitting down in the morning and getting something on "paper"; it just makes me feel better.

So, this picture has nothing to do with today's post but c'mon, he's tasty, isn't he? You have to admit that.

Anyway, I digress from Menu Monday, which isn't about food; it's just food-themed.

I am not the most finesse of people. To use my name and the word "gentle" in the same sentence is laughable. My mother refers to me as a "Bull in the China shop." My mouth isn't loud, I'm just a little clumsy and a loud walker. The same holds true with electronics-- I type loudly, I often drop cameras (and anything else of value) and I abuse my cell phone. I treat that thing terribly (which is why I will never buy an expensive phone). To help get the most life out of my cell phones, I buy covers for them.

Recently, I dropped my cell phone and broke the cover clean off. Aaron, knowing my phone was unprotected, took me to get a new cover this weekend. We walked into the cell phone store and while Aaron was perusing the shelves, I went to the counter to make my purchase. The following conversation ensued:

Creepy Clerk: Will this be all? Just this accessory?

Jessi: Yep, that's it. Can you put it on for me too?

CC: Absolutely. (ringing in the purchase) That'll be $19.99.

J: (Handing over debit card) Thank you.

CC: (Breathy whisper) Chocolate?

J: I'm sorry?

CC: Choc-o-late?

J: Um, yes please?

CC: No, YOU... smell like chocolate.

J: Oh, (completely creeped out) I do?

CC: (Grossly smelling the air) Mmmmm, yes you do!

Aaron: (who appeared at my side out of nowhere) Excuse me? Did I miss something?

J: Um, (so uncomfortable) well, he says I smell like chocolate.

A: Oh really? (slightly sarcastic and protective) Yes, my wife smells good doesn't she?

CC: (Hurried) Here's your receipt. Have a great night.

Hahahahahahaha. My husband the hero rescued me from Mr. Creeper.

In the market for a white jacket... without sleeves

I'm tired, I have large silver bags under my eyes, my roots are horrendous, I've worked too many hours to count and I haven't exercised since Jesus was in diapers.

Yesterday, I spent 6 hours in the Urgent Care hospital with Aaron, I have a shit load of papers to grade and a million errands to run. I ate two chocolate chip cookies (the large ones that come shrink wrapped) I haven't consumed enough water, and my hangnails are long enough to hang glide from.

BUT:

I'm getting my roots done today (and spending time with one of my best friends.)
I don't have to go back to work until Tuesday
I have a job
Aaron should recuperate (with help from a very loving nurse [if you ever repeat that, I'll deny it])
I think the bathroom remodel is in its last phase.

While at CVS after a very long day/week, picking up Aaron's prescription, I had to have one filled for Homer, (the cat) too.

Standing in the middle of CVS at 6:30 PM after already having zero sleep from the night before (Aaron was up vomiting all night) on top of administering a test and teaching a class, making work phone calls from an emergency room (where I sat in a hard plastic chair for six hours) only then to run a shit-ton of errands afterward (get dog food, prescriptions, ginger ale) bizarre thoughts crept into my mind and I began to deliriously laugh in the middle of CVS.

After I realized I was losing it, my exact thoughts were:

The next animal I get, I'm going to name something terrible. Like, Shitballs, or Pubic lice. That way, if the vet calls to confirm an appointment they will have to say, "This is ______ Vet calling to confirm Shitballs' appointment for tomorrow at 2. Please bring shitballs' stool sample for testing." That would be so glorious. Or, filling prescriptions would be even better. "I need to fill a prescription for Pubic Lice" AND, you know how they call the name of the person's prescription that's ready over the loud speaker? "Jessi, your prescription is ready, Jessi, please return to the pharmacy." Just think of the fun I could have; "Shitballs, your prescription is ready." "Public Lice, please come to the pharmacy." Delightful.

Any minute the white vans are going to come take me away...

This is your brain on zero sleep.

Photographic Friday: American Made?

I have no idea how this happened but, somehow, our little Rocko was imported from China. ;)