I cheat at breastfeeding, apparently

Not too long ago I ran into a friend of a friend at Babies R Us. She stopped to congratulate me and take a peek at Toby (who wouldn't want to?). I don't know her that well so it was one of those casual surface greetings where she asked all the usual questions. (I'll call her BRU just to make it simple.)

(We first exchanged pleasantries):
BRU: "How old is he?"
J: "9 weeks."
BRU: "He's so cute! How much did he weigh at birth?"
J: "6lbs 4oz.; just a peanut."
BRU: "How is he sleeping?"
J: "He sleeps great... 7-9 hours at night"
BRU: "Oh MY God?! 7-9 hours!!! You're kidding!"
J: "Nope, we're pretty lucky; he's a really good baby. He barely cries, too!"
BRU: "How on earth do you get him to sleep that long? My little girl wouldn't sleep for more than 3 hours! How does he go that long without nursing?! Do you have to get up and pump?"

PAUSE:

Okay, so let me stop there and explain something. It pisses me off, to NO END, when someone just assumes you breastfeed. Yes, I nurse. Yes, I know that it is proclaimed to be the very best thing for a baby and offers a bazillion health benefits. However, there are a lot of people I care about that didn't nurse or couldn't nurse either for personal, medical or other reasons. I DO NOT judge people who don't nurse and I have a serious issues with people who do.

REWIND: PLAY:

BRU: "How on earth do you get him to sleep that long? My little girl wouldn't sleep for more than 3 hours! How does he go that long without nursing?! Do you have to get up and pump?"
J: "Unfortunately, I can't produce enough milk for him so we supplement with formula. I give him about 3.5 ounces before he goes to bed and he sleeps right through. If I don't get up and pump it doesn't make a difference with my supply."
BRU: (Silent for a moment) "Oh, well then, with my next one maybe I'll just cheat too and stuff them with formula before they go to bed so I can get some sleep. I just couldn't bring myself to feed her formula!"

Then she giggled and shrugged her shoulders.
I wanted to punch her in the throat.
But, I took the high road:
J: "You're very lucky you didn't have to supplement with formula! Toby would starve if I didn't supplement. Good seeing you!"

Then I beat her to a pulp. No, I didn't... but, I wanted to.

Cheat? What the hell does that mean? What I wanted to say was:

"Oh, by cheat you mean the weeks I spent crying my eyes out because I didn't know what the hell was wrong with my supply? Or do you mean the 3+ cups of Mother's Milk Tea I drink on a daily basis (in 90 degree weather [!!!]) so I can produce a measly 3-5 ounces of breast milk per day? Or, I'm sorry, did you mean pumping 2-4 times per day on top of nursing 6-8 times per day? Or is it the Fenugreek herbs I take that make my piss and sweat smell like maple syrup that constitutes cheating? I know, it must be the 3-3 hour appointments I went to with lactation consultants while they watched me nurse and pump to rule out that I wasn't an idiot and it wasn't user error? Now back up and shut your pie-hole before I knock you out!"

11 years ago I had breast reduction. It was deemed medically necessary and my physician practically begged me to do it. I had terrible migraines and back and neck issues. I was warned, because they removed a significant amount of breast tissue, that my ability to nurse might be jeopardized. I was in my early 20's; the thought of having a baby (or nursing it) was so far off my radar.

I wouldn't go back and change it; I am so much happier with my body. I feel better physically and mentally. BUT, I won't lie, it does suck that I can't exclusively breastfeed my baby therefore, I could do without the judgements.

That said, it is really hard for me when I hear people say:

"Ugh, my freezer is so packed with breast milk, I can't fit anything in it."

• I have never been able to pump enough to store. I usually get about 20cc. (30cc = 1 ounce) I would give anything to produce enough to feed my son, let alone, freeze!

"Oh, my boobs are so sore because they are so full. I can't even stand it! You know what I mean?"

• No. I was never engorged. I have never had that "full feeling" Neither has Toby :(

"Oh, I forgot to wear a breast pads one day and boy, I was leaking everywhere!"

• Once, I got a small stain on my shirt about the size of a pencil eraser. I was so proud. I showed it to Aaron. We celebrated.

"Ugh, breastfeeding is just so much work! I wish I could just do formula, like you do."

• Formula is expensive. It's hard work washing and sterilizing bottles and always packing something for Toby to eat if we go anywhere. I don't have a drive-thru on my chest. I wish I did, like you do.

Still, I try. I nurse 6-10 times per day. I pump at least twice per day. I wear breast pads just in case I'm lucky enough to leak. I drink 2-3 cups of Mother's Milk tea. I take Fenugreek daily. I eat lactation promoting foods. I massage and use warm compresses.

Yeah, I totally cheat at breastfeeding.

Completely milk drunk