When you're SEVEN

I've been playing around with the idea of this post for about 3 months; keeping it in the back of my mind and frequently adding bullet points as memory markers. Then, coincidentally, it came up in a recent discussion at a clinical meeting and it inspired me, after a long break, to write again.

Toby is just starting to comprehend the passing of time/value of time. Of course, that comprehension doesn't extend to the larger issue of doddling and stalling (that's a topic for another day.) What he is beginning to grasp is that things can't always occur immediately and some things require patience and waiting.

We try to say "yes" to Toby whenever possible and reasonable. However, there are still a lot of things we won't let Toby do/eat-- no matter how much he begs. He's three so, obviously, when we say "no" he wants to know the reason WHY he cannot participate and WHEN he can actually do what he has asked to do. We were thoroughly prepared for the "why" but were caught off guard with the "when." Thinking quickly, we assigned the arbitrary age of seven as the age when all his dreams can come true. Since deciding that seven was the magical age, many of our discussions go something like this:

T: "Mama, can we move the refrigerator into my bedroom?"
J: "No. Sorry, Babe."
T: "WHYYYYYY!!!???"
J: "Because it has to stay in the kitchen."
T: (sigh) "Fine. When I'm seven I'm going to have a fridge in my room, okay!?"
J: "Toby, if when you're seven it's still important to you to have a fridge in your room, we can discuss it then, okay?"
T: "Okay! Seven!! It's a deal!"

The other day, while having the clinical discussion referenced above, one of my colleagues mentioned that he might remember all these promises. That hadn't really occurred to me. So, the other night Aaron and I sat down and laughed about all the things Toby will be allowed to do when he comes of age. (Age being seven, of course.)


*****

May 23, 2019

Dearest Toby,

Do you remember when you were three and you would often ask Mama and Dada to participate in activities or eat foods and we told you weren't allowed? BUT, we promised that you could do all of these delightful things when you turned seven? Well, my darling, today is your lucky day.

Starting today, Toby, you can do all of the following:

Use Mama's mouthwash
Lick the railing at the Library
Finally eat that delicious looking booger
Sit on the hood of the car while we're driving down the road
Eat Strawberries
Chew Gum
Drink juice
Slither like a snake through the Mall
Drive the forklift at Home Depot
Pump gas at the gas station
Eat paper
Drive your power wheels tractor down the highway
Eat the dog bone from the bank drive-thru
Put crayons in your ears.
Wear underpants on your head
Buy red Swedish fish from Fresh Market
Take the motorized wheelchair at Target for a spin
Live in a tent underwater
Stuff yourself into the mail slot at the post office
Go to Mt. Rushmore
Wipe your bum with the shower curtain
Write checks out of my checkbook
Live in an igloo
Take presents from all the Whos Down in Whoville
Bite the dentist
Never ever (ever!!!) go to sleep again
Wear Mama and Dada's very expensive camera around your neck at an outing
Ride on the back of a Beluga whale
Keep an egg in your backpack

Now, I bet you thought we'd forget didn't you? Well, we didn't. So, let us know which activity you would like to do first.

Happy Birthday!

We love you,

Mama & Dada