Conversations on a Wednesday, Oui?

I've realized, as of late, how psychotic I (we) am (are) about my (our) animals. I'm comparable to Dr. Freaking-Do-Little. In the last few days I've made a mental note of some of the things I've said to the animals or about the animals.

Exhibit A:

J:Bing, Bing darling, would you tell me if you had a tick on you? Would you tell Mama?

Okay, as if he could: 1. answer the question at hand, 2. ever have a tick on him considering I douse him with FrontLine once per month like clock-work and 3. I comb through his hair once per night looking for anything unusual, I would surely catch a tick.

Exhibit B:

J: Aaron, Manny threw up this morning. Do you think he's upset because of the stress of the move or do you think he may have eaten something bad?

Okay, 1. Stress? Maybe, but doubtful. 2. He's a pig and probably ate too much. 3. I know he couldn't have possibly have eaten something "bad" because I inspect his vomit to check for things like, oh, batteries, non-food items, discoloration and the like. Hey, come on now, one of my first sentences was acknowledging my psychosis- don't be a hater.

Exhibit C:

I threw a pillow off the bed and it landed near Shredda.

J: Oh my God!!! Meow-meow, are you okay? Did I hurt you, Meow-meow? Shredds? Are you okay?

Am I seriously waiting for an answer?

Exhibit D:

We are at Bernie & Phils (quality, comfort, and price- that's nice) looking at, of all things, a bedroom set.

A: Well, if we get the "low profile" box-spring, the boys will be able to access the bed more easily.

J: Yeah, what do you think? I like the looks of the high profile, but it's going to be hard for the babies to climb up there.

A: Yeah. So low?

J: Yeah.

A to Salesman: Yeah, we're going to go with the low profile box-spring. It will just be easier for the boys.

Exhibit E:

We are at Target, looking for pet stuff.

A: Don't you think we should get some new food and water dishes for the animals?

J: Why?

A: Well, we are getting new stuff, so they should too.

J: That's true, they are probably tired of looking at the same old dish anyway. Oh, and we need to get one of those bone shaped braided rugs for under their dishes. I'm tired of that old plastic placemat.

A: Yeah, it breeds germs. Where can we find one of the braided rugs?

J: Oh, well, they sell them at the Amish store, they're only like $25 bucks.

A: Oh really? That's not bad. Yeah, we'll pick one up.

Like the dogs even care what they eat off of.

So there you have it folks. Here is a small sampling of what goes on with the A&J animal farm. Oui are constantly having conversations either about the animals or with the animals. Pure craziness, I tell you.