What's up Doc?

For as long as I can remember I have been stricken with allergies. As I have heard it, apparently, the body is supposed to regenerate itself and change every seven years. While I have become healthier in some aspects, it seems I keep adding new allergies to my existing ones.

When I was little I was affected by things like pollen, flowers, dust, and typical hay-fever. When I grew a little older it became some metals like nickel and pewter; then cats and dogs and Dove soap and Aveeno lotion, and everything else. Now there seems to be something else that I am allergic to and I can't put my finger on it.

Last week, after waking up almost every night for two months with snot running down my face because I was so clogged up, (and at Aaron's *gentle* urging "For Christ's sake, go get yourself checked out so I can sleep!") I finally went to see my doctor.

My Doctor, oh my doctor. His name is Hongbao Ma, or 'Dr. Ma.' So far, I've liked Dr. Ma; he seems to be a very good doctor with only two downfalls. He speaks BROKEN English and, although he seems fairly young, he appears to have a poor memory as evidenced by him introducing himself every time we meet and informing me that it's nice to meet me.

Well, last week, he pissed me off and I am at my wits end!! I made the appointment and went in; the scenario when like this:

Dr: Hih Jes-ka, nice mee youah, I'm H(popping sound/unintelligible first name) Ma. (Hi Jessica, it's nice to meet you, I'm Hongbao Ma.)
J: Hi Dr. Ma, it's nice to SEE you again.
Dr: Wha bringy heeah? (What brings you here?)
J: I have really bad allergies that seem to be getting worse. I don't think my medication is working. I have been on it so long, can I get used to it? Does a body do that?
Dr: Youah sneeze?
J: (sigh) Yes.
Dr: Youah weeze?
J: (impatient) Yes.
Dr: Youah noo wunny? (Is your nose runny? OR- {Do you know how to play rummy} [?])
J: YES! (to both actually)
Dr: [Pulling out a pointy thing to stick in my ears] Ooh, oohkay, lemmee tack luuk. (Okay, lets have a looksie)
Dr: Youah ear foo snah!!! (Your ears are full of snot!!! {Or do you hear that futon?} not sure which [?])
J: (Ashamed/whisper) Yes.
Dr: (Moving to shove instrument up my nasal cavity) Oohh, youah noo cwogged up tie (Wow what'd ya know, your nose is also clogged! -OR- {Have you read any novels by John Updike [?])
J: (head bowed) Yes.
Dr: (In an excited tone) Jes-ka youah haah awwergy!!! (Jessica, brace yourself, I have some bad news. You suffer from severe allergies which do extensive damage to your quality of life)

Seriously? I left the office to go to the pharmacy for Nasonex nasal spray and Claritin (over-the- counter) "wiitoutahad" (Yeah, that took me a few times too. He wanted me to buy Claritin with out the D, so, NOT Claritin-D) I did, knowing it probably wouldn't work because I was switching from 180 mg of prescribed medication to over-the-counter 10 mg pills.

Sure enough I got worse... see my hives??? All over my body!!!



I call back and I'm told "Jes-ka, youha knee see awergest" So either my knee is their guest, or I'm guessing I need to make an appointment with an allergist.