Drugs 101: With Jessi Chalifour, MA

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21568973/

I read the above article and it absolutely infuriated me this morning. I know it's a bit early to be all revved up, but you know me. If you don't feel like reading it I will summarize; truck drivers (the specific target of this article and study) are cheating drug tests. It is mandated that they provide urine samples, and the test facilities aren't secure. There are products available at the testing site to dilute the urine sample or they are cheating using other means. My question: who are the people responsible for administering and validating the tests? By the time you read this blog, I am fully confident you will be better equipped to administer and interpret a drug test than the people responsible in the above article.

There are a few ways to "pass" a drug test when you should come up "dirty," as we call it in the substance abuse treatment world. And because this is a private blog and the average "Joe" won't be reading this, in essence me giving pointers, I will tell you.

First, it depends upon the substance you use. So I will discuss substance before cheating...

Alcohol is very hard to detect in the system after about 24 hours. One test that is pretty accurate is this little piece of paper (which reminds me of the litmus paper in high school chemistry) placed on the tongue and can detect recently consumed alcohol. Recently is the operative word. Treatment facilities often us this as an alternative to the breathalyzer.

Marijuana is much easier to test for because THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, binds to fat cells so it can stay in a person's body up to 30 days (again it depends upon each person, how much they smoked, how often...etc)

Other drugs, like Opiates (Vicodan, Heroin, Opium), Cocaine, Meth, and Amphetamines are harder to detect because, while they do act on receptors, they rely on the blood stream to make their way around the body, hence not staying around too long (which would explain why people use them so frequently throughout the day and can become so addicted. Frequent use = increased tolerance= more substance needed to get the same high...) They are in and out pretty quick. Most of the kids I test regularly use Adderrall (prescribed) to control ADD/ADHD. By the time I get them in the afternoon most if it has cleared out of their body from their morning dose (sometimes it does show up and it comes up as an amphetamine.)

I could go on for hours, as this is so fascinating, but for the sake of time I will move on.

First, my disclaimer: I do not, under any circumstances, condone or encourage the use, distribution, or possession of any substances. Further, the following information is for educational purposes only and I do not guarantee that any of the below circumstances will in fact make someone pass a drug test; nor do I support trying to cheat one:

How I have heard/seen people cheat. There are a ton of ways, but below is what I most commonly encounter:

System Clearing methods: Drinks are available on the Internet that are supposed to clear out your system of drugs, specifically THC. They are very costly, about $50 and rarely work. What some people do not know is that while it may clear out the THC, it also throws off the body's pH level, and most standard tests include a test for pH. Additionally, it requires shipping to your home without being caught by a JPPO (Juvenile Probation and Parole Office) or parent, and requires a lot of planning. If it takes 3 days by mail and you don't know when you are going to be tested, you have to hope you get your drink before you get tested and after you use, and assume it will work. Further, most people don't plan out drug use. It is an act of impulsivity in a lot of cases, so that adds another scenario to the equation. This requires planning.

I have also been asked by a client of mine if this would actually work: He said, "I read on the Internet if you smoked (marijuana) and then drank a gallon of water every hour for 24 hours, worked out, and then ate fatty foods the THC would be pushed off of your cells and you would not be "dirty."

My reaction- First, I asked if there was something he needed to tell me. Second, I explained to him how dangerous this could possibly be. The body can only process about 8 oz. of water every 15 minutes. There is no way a person could drink that much water and not drown. Yes, I said drown. You can actually overwhelm your body with H2O, flush out your electrolytes, and drown. Third, I challenged him in how much work this was for just a few hours of being high. Is drinking a gallon of water every hour for a day, exercising, and eating fried food really worth a four hour high? Lastly, I drug tested him... hehehe.

Dilution: People often water down the sample adding something like baby powder, cleaner, or air freshener. This again will change the oxidation, pH, or what-have-you and the test will come up invalid. In my world-- and I am a hardass (pardon my French) -- if a test is invalid, I call it dirty. You get the option of taking another one (just in case there was something wrong with the test) or you can just sign my paper and I will write "tampering suspected" all over it. Further, I did go to school for 7 years and coincidentally, I was not born yesterday. So when someone hands me a cup full of urine, it's green and smells like piss and Windex, I'd make a safe wager that it didn't come from someones bladder.

Fake samples: This is common. Someone will urinate in a bottle and then use. They will bring in the "good" sample and fill the cups with that. I can't go in the bathroom with them, but what I can do is listen outside the door to the best of my ability. I also always search the person before they take the test. I make them empty their pockets, (sometimes I will find goodies in their pockets; cigarettes, lighters and other paraphernalia which I confiscate.) They must take off jackets, hoodies, an other prime hiding areas. Then, when they give me the sample, I can feel through my gloves if the sample is cold or warm. Hello people? The body's temperature is 98.6 degrees. When you give me a cup of urine that has been sitting in an Aquafina bottle in your backpack in the car all day, and it's 80 degrees, you're either hypothermic, dead, or lying... now again, I'm not a rocket scientist or a betting woman, but I would be willing to put something down on the fact that your cheating.

Purely Laughable Methods: Let me set the scene: It's Thursday evening. "C" = client.
C: Jessi, I haven't had a random drug screen in a while... shouldn't I have had one by now? (Did I just hear the word random?)
J: Sure, if you'd like, I can give you one now.
C: Okay.

Then again on Tuesday, the next time I see them much to their horror, I give them another one. I do have an inkling of what I am doing here and the only reason they would ask for one is because they plan on using over the weekend and think I won't test them for a while if they willingly submit to a test prior.

Now, I must say, I deal with Adolescents 12-22 only. That is my client population. The article above deals mostly with adults, which, while all substance abusers have a knack for manipulation (and that is by no means a generalization or judgement- they have to be savvy in order to not get caught) the adults, I assume, are a bit more sophisticated in trying to cheat these tests. They have different means, more resources, money, experience and so forth. However, it sounds as though this testing facility does not take the necessary and BASIC precautions to prevent tampering. That does not make me rest easy due to the fact that 9% of the subjects in this study were in fact using and getting behind the wheel of a tractor-trailer-truck. And that was 9% just in Washington State.

A few months ago I had someone call me anonymously at my job: This is how the conversation went.

J: Adolescent Substance Abuse Treatment, this is Jessi.
C: Hi, um, I have to take a drug test for my job and I smoke (marijuana). I drank one of those drinks (the expensive ones) and I am just wondering if you can tell me what else I can do to pass this piss test? (what substance abusers affectionately call my urinalysis.)
J: Don't use. (click)

If you stuck with me through that, I hope you found it as fascinating as I do. I would be more than willing and happy to entertain any questions you have about this, or as always, anything.