The (Not-so) Newlywed Game

This questionnaire has now appeared on about 5 blogs I read so, I finally decided to succumb and take this quiz.

I printed off two copies; I took one and then had Aaron take the other one. I was SHOCKED at the results. Moral of the story, Aaron is a very attentive husband! While we were taking the quiz, Aaron kept saying ,"I expect Chuck Wollery to jump out at us any moment!"

Below I have copied, VERBATIM, what each of us wrote. Enjoy!

1. How long have you been married?
J: 3 years, 4 mos., 10 days
A: 3 years

Yeah, I'm not detail-oriented in the least.

2. Where was your first date?
J: His house, I think?
A: _____________ (he named or secret spot) 

He's right. I'm wrong! (There, Aaron. You actually have that in print.)

3. Where was your first kiss?
J: I don't kiss and tell but, I think _______ ? (I stated the secret spot)
A:  ________ (secret spot)

4. Who first said "I love you"?
J: Jessi? I don't remember. Actually, it might have been him. I think I implied it... but he said it directly.
A: ME

Yes, he did. It's all coming back to me. Then he said he wanted to love me for the rest of his life.

5. What were your wedding colors?
J: Cranberry
A: Autumn earth-tones: maroon, yellow, brown and orange

(Um, "earth-tones" Aaron? I think that is the first time I've ever heard you use that word!)

6. What is her most commonly used phrase?
J: "It is what it is."
A: "Whatever, whatever, whoo-whoo"

I think he's right. Which is embarrassing!

7. Who is her celebrity crush?
J: Joaquin Phoenix
A: Joaquin Phoenix

Not only is he my celebrity crush but, I also get a "free pass" should the opportunity ever present itself.

8. If she was ordering drinks for both of you what would you each get?
J: Water
A: For me? PBR. For her? It depends on the meal, the season, and the recommendations of others.

No, he's wrong here. I'm a cheap bastard. We'd each get water.

9. What was the best meal she ever cooked for you?
J: Haddock on his birthday
A: Baked-stuffed haddock on my birthday

Okay, so I must confess, it was probably really REALLY easy for him to remember this because he does almost all of the cooking in our house. I cook, legit, maybe 10-15 meals per year. He's an awesome cook, dudes.

10. What is the worse meal she has ever cooked for you?
J: This weird rice noodle thing I once made when I was trying to be all culinary-like.
A: I can't think of one.

11. What is the most-played song on her iPod?
J: Come on Eileen!
A: Pandora Kids

Okay, so technically he's right. I do play Pandora Kids 24/7. I don't have an iPod but I do have a super cheesy MP3 player that holds exactly 25 songs and I only play about three of them.

12. What would she say is your most annoying habit?
J: Gagging while brushing his teeth. Or anything bowel related.
A: Farting. Or starting and not finishing something.

13.What is the last thing she does before she goes to bed?
J: Take out my contacts, brush my teeth, wash my face and call the dogs to bed.
A: Takes her "nap" and then takes out her eyes.

So, about my nap. Okay, there is this thing that my sister, my mother and I do. We... "pre-sleep." Basically what this is is falling asleep prematurely (like on the couch or during a movie) but we pretend to still be awake because we're too tired to really have to "officially" go to bed. We are at our crabbiest when we wake from our "nap."

14. If you could throw away one item of her clothing, what would it be?
J: My "Dancin' Pants?"
A: Not her dancing pants. Her Calvin Klein underwear.

I can't believe he said that. I have this pair of Calvin Klein underpants... they are SO comfortable. I've had these underpants since high school. You touch them, Aaron, and it's a deal-breaker.

15. What would you say is your favorite thing about her?
J: He'd say my smarts.
A: Her planning keeps me grounded. Everything she does is intentional.

16. What is her go-to drink at Starbucks?
J: Something sweet. Like a white mocha yummy latte something or rather.
A: White carmely latte thingy.

17. What is the name of her blog?
J: The Beginning of Wednesday
A: The Beginning of Wednesday

 

A family photo that includes Toby doing a fist pump because he has awesome parents!

 

 

Wednesday, Oui? 39 + 39

39 weeks ago today, at 3:54 PM, I met Toby. Today, at 3:55 PM, Toby has been in this world, with his family doting upon him, longer than he was in my womb. It's weird.

I can't even describe how profoundly my life has changed in the past 39 + 39 weeks. When I was pregnant I had all these preconceived notions about what it would be like to have a baby. Forgive me, I'm going to be completely blunt and honest here:

I thought I would feel so disconnected from my husband.
I thought I would neglect my dogs, my home, and my personal hygiene.
I thought I would be in the poor house trying to keep my kid diapered and fed.
I thought there would just be these nights that I was so exhausted I would just want to fall into bed, resenting the fact that I still had to get the baby to bed.
I thought I would be happy to go to work every day.
I thought I would be so relieved to have my nanny keep my house spotless.
I thought I would resent my husband for one reason or another; he wasn't helping, or helping the way I wanted him to.
I thought I would hate the way my body changed.
I thought Aaron and I would never ever ever have the time or energy to, ahem, well.... you know.
I thought everything that made me me would never be the same.

The second I suspected I was pregnant my entire life changed. It was like the part of me that was lost in a sea of what I thought was important, finally sailed into port. I loved every single second of being pregnant. Yes, parts of my pregnancy were difficult; I had to go to the doctors 2-3 times per week because of my diabetes accompanied by a slew of other annoyances because of my diabetes. It really didn't bother me. It wasn't even a consideration to complain. I felt such joy in being pregnant. I loved having him with me. I loved daydreaming about what he would be like. I loved feeling him move. I loved thinking of him all warm and safe; like only I could protect him.

I loved every second of my 8 hour labor. I loved bringing him into this world and I am so proud that I did it without the aid of drugs. Maybe I'm a sadist, but I loved every second of his birth- regardless of the pain. In my head it made sense that it should hurt. I, personally, wanted to know exactly what it felt like to want something so badly. I don't ever want to forget what it felt like (many women told me I would forget the pain. I haven't. [Dudes, I couldn't!] and I don't want to.)

I loved trying to breastfeed him. It was a painstaking process for me. I gave it my absolute all for 7 months and I have no regrets about any of it. I loved whispering to him while he was brand new and milk drunk.

I love my husband more than I ever thought possible.  I look at my husband and can't measure how much he has grown; how different our love is now. He is an amazing partner. We co-parent naturally. He has changed as many diapers as I have. He has been there every step of the way and I have never been afraid to leave him alone with the baby because I feared he wouldn't do as good of a job as me. I never gave myself the option to be "the better parent." We make every decision together. Aaron is an excellent father. He is so engaged, fun, and present. He intentionally parents our son.

Aaron is an even better husband than he was 39 weeks ago. Yes, it's true and apparently possible. I think I've been pretty clear that I have no complaints (well, maybe a few [wink]) about Aaron. He has always been a great partner. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he absolutely loves me. He always puts us first. He still tries to surprise me. He works so hard, sometimes 6+ days per week, so I can work a measly 2.5 days per week and we can pay for our part-time nanny equivalant to what others pay in a month for full time day care. He never complains.

The realistic things that did change was the way I take care of myself/things. I do live in sweats on my days off. I have, to some small extent, neglected my home. But, weirdly, my priorities have changed so much that it doesn't bother me. I would rather spend 1 hour on the floor playing with Toby and watching him grow, than spend 1 hour painting my toenails, straightening my hair or doing dishes.

I'd rather have my nanny bring him on various outings and play dates than keep my house clean and put away laundry (although, she does make excellent use of his nap time!)

I love that Pandora Kids plays 24/7 in our household, that we fired our television, that my nightstand is littered with children's books rather than an epic non-fiction about whatever I was interested in at the time. I'm fine with the fact that I have more mascara on my head to cover my gray on black roots than I have on my eyelashes. I am completely fine with the fact that I have chipped toenail polish on only my big toes and it has been that way for weeks. None of those things are important to me any longer. At the end of the day I go to bed with my husband, my partner, thinking, "We did a good job as parents today." Truly, that is so much more satisfying than a well manicured brow line and a spotless house.

It's so weird to read what I just wrote. I used to read similar things from new mothers and (forgive me) think to myself "Yeah, keep telling yourself that none of these things bother you, honey. Your house is a sty, you look like hell and there is something crusty on the shoulder of your blouse." I think back on the part of myself not with anger, but with pity for my ignorance. I had no clue how much a baby changes your perspective. I have a new port in life. I have an anchor. I have made sacrifices with my time, money, career and I'm sure others that I can't yet identify. But, I have never been so fulfilled. I have never felt so close to my faith, my family or my husband. I have never had such an understanding of my psyche. Yes, being a mother isn't always easy. Why should it be? I am enjoying every second of every part of this journey.

Toby is an easy baby. Everyone has commented on that. I don't think that is necessarily coincidence. Perhaps it is luck that he has always slept through the night. Perhaps it is luck that he has a great attention span. But, I think the fact that he smiles at his family, he never ever ever cries, he is content with life and loves to love is because Aaron and I have been so good about prioritizing. Being considerate about every single thing that we do, every word that leaves our mouth, every octave of our language. We never rush when he's near. I have a tendency to be anxious and Aaron has a tendency to be scattered.We never let those things translate to him. We decided before he arrived that if he was going to be a sponge we would only let him absorb the most pleasant things. We want him to have confidence. We want him to be independent. We want him to be curious. We want him to be happy.

I am so grateful for the past 39 + 39 weeks. I can say I've never lived with such vigor and intentionality as I have in the past 78 weeks.

My Growing Giraffe

 

Waiting for dinner

I know I've mentioned before that I make all of Toby's baby food. I get such a sense of pride in knowing EXACTLY what goes into his food. Perhaps I'm still sour over the fact that I had to feed him formula and couldn't exclusively breastfeed him (I am getting over it, I swear!) Or maybe I'm just paranoid about all the chemicals and additives in the foods we eat, but he still hasn't had any food from a jar/can.

I closely follow the So Easy baby food model of introducing certain foods and spices at particular times in his development. So far he's had:

Avocado
Sweet Potatoes
Peas
Butternut Squash
Zucchini
Banana
Tofu
Pears
Peaches
Apples
Black Beans
Rice Cereal

 

I never thought I would be a mom who spent every Sunday morning making baby food. Honestly, I had envisioned myself pulling food from a jar. I do want to say I have absolutely no judgment about babies eating jarred foods, really. I own some jarred foods and pouches that, at some point, I might feed him. But, for now, I'm very content making his food in my kitchen. It literally takes me about an hour, including clean-up!

Every Sunday I usually make two different types of food. Historically, Sunday has always been a day that Aaron and I make a big deal out of breakfast so, at about 7 AM, after we've fed Toby his bottle, we set him up in the kitchen and Aaron and I cook a big breakfast and make his baby food. I'm really hoping it teaches Toby to appreciate food, understand what goes into food preparation, and feel good about the fact that his parents cook together and share the kitchen. We make it really fun; he sits in his high-chair, we cook, sing, and dance.

Making his food has been much easier (and cheaper) than I imagined it would be. Every time I make food it yields him about 12 servings. Like I said, I use the So Easy baby book of recipes and the So Easy trays. I use a food processor, the veggie or fruit of choice, and I add a little of the juices I used to cook the food (if it requires cooking) as I process it. Then I simply spoon the food into the freezer trays and freeze them for 24 hours (leaving out 4 servings for him to eat over the next few days.) It's awesome.

 

Part of my stash. As you can see they are all in individual 1T cubes. I simply select two, let them defrost and voila! So easy and healthy! Each bag is labled with the contents and the date.

Like the book recommends, I introduce new foods at his first meal of the day and repeat that for 3-5 days. Then, I record any reactions he has to them (Does he like it? Does he show signs of allergy?) So far he only had a very small reaction to the Tofu (soy.) I love that I know exactly what is in the food, therefore if he did have a reaction there wouldn't be any question in my mind as what it was to. I can also introduce spices to his foods, which is really exciting.

For instance, last Sunday I made him peaches. Sunday through Wednesday he'll get 2T peaches every morning. After Wednesday, I'll add cinnamon to his peaches and try that for a few days so I can make sure he doesn't have a reaction to cinnamon. (At his lunches and suppers I give him foods he has already had.) Currently, he drinks about 24-28 oz. of formula per day, has 1 oz of organic pear juice, about 7-10 oz of water and 6T of solid foods.

Making his food gives me so much variety and the ability to experiment. I take a lot of comfort in knowing that his meals are organic and preservative free (I mean, some of my jarred foods don't expire for years... how does that work!? Yikes!)  As much as possible, I try to serve some of the foods to him fresh (banana and avocado.) Further, I'm also a stickler about the microwave. I take all his food out of the freezer the night before. I won't allow his food/liquids to go in the microwave. I kind of feel psycho sometimes.

Toby is a really good eater. He loves his foods (okay, except peas) and gets really excited at meal times. Perhaps it would be easier to feed him from a jar, but I'm really digging our routine and knowing what my baby is (or isn't) eating.

 

I want my little meatball to grow big and strong!

Toby: 8 Months Old

 

 

I'm a little behind in the posting arena but, my excuse is that I have an 8+ month old little boy! (Translation: the weight I've been dropping has nothing to do with me dieting; I'm chasing around a baby!!) Dudes, okay, so... perhaps I am indeed biased but, my kid is pretty flipping awesome. I mean, he's cute, he's extraordinarily smart, and he is a sweetheart. He loves to love. He loves life. It's really the best.thing.ever.in.the.whole.wide.world. I can't even stand it!

So, here are some updates on our little tyke.

• Since he was born he has had 1779 diaper changes!
• He's in size 3 diapers and size 6-9 month clothing (he's skinny but LONG.)
• He loves to eat! Over the last month he tried, tofu, squash and zucchini.
• He has almost finished his first series of "real" classes: sign language. We are using about 110 signs on a REGULAR basis. If I'm talking to him at all, and I know the sign to accompany the word, I'll use the sign. He hasn't signed back yet, although I think he did try to sign "more" the other day but, I can't be sure. Our instructor said it normally takes about 3 months if you do it religiously. Um, religiously? Have you met me?! I'm doing it all the time! I go to class with highlighted notes and I "stay after class" to make sure I've learned the material. Pathetic.
• He also drank (legitimately) from a sippy cup. In the past he has taken a sip here or there usually refusing the little spout; preferring a nipple. But, this month he actually drank all his water from a sippy!
• I fear he will soon need his first haircut. He has a mass of black wispy hair that is creeping closer and closer to his eyes. I refuse to let it go into his eyes, so we'll soon have to cut it... or slick it back... or do the comb-over. That would be sick.
• No toofers yet. Soon, I think. (But I think I've said that every month for the past 4 months!)
• He has mastered crawling. So what if it's backwards and he just drags his legs using only arm strength? He's like a little crab... except his legs don't move.... and he doesn't have an exoskeleton.
• I am declining to address the issue of him sleeping in his nursery.
• Mr. Mister still sleeps through the night.
• He never cries.
• His favorite things include: music, books, more music, the dogs, more books, taking a bath, and Mama.
• We have tried finger foods on several occasions and Toby just isn't there yet. He hasn't mastered his little pincer grip (yet another difference between him and a crab) so we'll keep trying. I'm all about letting him do things at his pace. 
• He takes about (2) 1 hour naps every day (ish).

Updates on Mama and Daddy:

Really, we don't have a whole lot going on. Our life was taken by storm about 8 months ago and we live to love our baby. Every night we play, play, play and then put him down to sleep around 7:30. Usually once Toby is in bed we'll play a few hands of Rummy, or watch a rented movie, or just spoon. We're wicked lame. Other than that it's just work, play and planning for Mr. Mister's baptism and 1st birthday!! Life is really, really good! But, hmmm, let me think...

• I've lost almost all of the baby weight with the exception of 5.4 pounds. I'd like to lose 15 more pounds by August. I'm really trying. (and by really trying, I mean not eating everything that isn't nailed down... except on Sunday. Sunday doesn't count.)
• Aaron and I (and occasionally Nanny) are still making all of Toby's food. I'm pretty dang proud of that.
• We've also been purging our house of unwanted stuff. Now, y'all know I'm tidy, but we do have a few things lurking around that we're not using that we're trying to get rid of/sell. In 18 years we'll have college to pay for. We gotta get saving!
• I'm in two weddings this September. A matron of honor in one (one of two) and a bridesmaid in the other (one of NINE), so between that, and planning a baby shower for my sister-in-law, I've been pretty busy in the party planning department. Luckily I have LOTS of help in all the events!
• We also started taking 1 tablespoon of Elderberry syrup every day. It's supposed to help your immune system and I have to say, I feel great. Nanny makes the syrup for us (she's also an herbalist.) It's yummy.

I'm thinking that's all for now. Here are some more pictures of the delicious Mr. Mister. Eat your heart out.

Toby = Einstein2

 

 

 

Okay, so in honor of full disclosure, I must admit that these photos are *somewhat* staged. What you don't see is me crouching at the ready with catlike reflexes waiting to pounce the instant Toby's strong posture waivers while Aaron snaps pictures with feverish excitement.

 

What isn't staged is that coincidentally, when we sat him at the table to "ohh and ahh" at how grown up he was looking, he grabbed his favorite book, opened it, and paged through it.

 

Seriously, people. You're glimpsing the next Einstein.

You saw it here first.