Wanted!

Reward offered for the apprehension of the dangerous criminal shown below:

Name: Toby

Known Aliases: "Bub", "Alien", "Mr. Mister" and "Fussy-Mussy-Waterloo"

DOB: 5/23/12

Weight: approximately 9lbs.

Height: 22+ inches

Eyes: brownish

Hair: brown and balding

Identifying features/birthmarks: John Travolta chin

Temperament: charming

If you see this boy, approach with caution as his powers of intoxication are transmitted through eye contact. He renders his victims helpless and bends their will to meet his every need.

In his short life he has been convicted and proven guilty of the following crimes:

• Blowing out diapers
• Spitting on people
• Laundering onesies
• All night parties

He was last seen in the area of his bassinet wearing a dinosaur onesie. He has been known to work with an accomplice and Intel has just received a rare picture of the duo together. See below.

His accomplice, Manny, also has a long record:

• Stealing
• Urinating in public
• Physical Intimidation
• Defiling a bathroom rug
• Disobedience
• Violation of noise ordinances

Again, use caution if you see these dangerous criminals and alert authorities immediately.