Yes, I kept my placenta (Part II)

You may remember my post almost a year ago discussing our choice to keep my placenta and what we did with it. If you don't remember, click here (if you're squeamish, don't click the link.) Well, aside from making (what I think is) beautiful art with the placenta, we also chose to plant the placenta.

All who know me know that trees are among one of my favorite things. I'm even a card-carrying member of the Arborday Foundation; I donate to their organization every year and I have purchased several trees/plants/bushes from them. When I was still pregnant with Toby I decided I would plant his birth month tree; which ended up being a Hawthorn (month of May.) So, I placed the order with Arborday hoping to have a sweet Hawthorn tree delivered to me. Unfortunately, due to the climate here in New England, by the time I had Toby I missed the shipping deadline by a few weeks.

So, into the freezer the placenta went. Now, the Arborday Foundation ships this particular tree two times per year; spring and fall. I had the choice of planting this tree last fall but, I called and elected a delayed shipping because I really wanted to plant it in May. A few weeks ago, our little Hawthorn arrived just in time.

Five days after Toby was born, my Pepe passed away. Pepe was, arguably, the single most influential and important person in my life. I miss him incredibly. In my heart, I'd like to believe Pepe waited until after Toby was born to leave this world. I think he knew it was probably the only way I would have been "okay." I can't describe the pure joy of having a new baby, mixed with the utter devastation of losing someone so important. It was the most precious and heartbreaking time of my life. But, my sweet little boy mended my broken heart.

Many of my best childhood memories take place at "camp" in Maine. I spent many a summer day just hanging out at camp with Pepe. Even going there last summer as a new Mom, yet still mourning the loss of my grandfather, provided me immense comfort. Camp is, and has always been, the place I go to center myself. I take such solace in being in a place that meant so much to my Pepe; a place he built with his hands. Therefore, it just made sense to me that I would plant my placenta in Maine.

Coincidentally this year, because of the way Memorial Day weekend fell, I was at camp exactly between Toby's birthday and the day Pepe passed away. So, on the 26th of May, we planted Toby's Hawthorn tree, known for its flowers and berries that attract songbirds, along with Toby's placenta. I love knowing that the very placenta that nourished my son will nourish this tree as well. I also take such comfort in knowing this tree will grow, big and strong, at one of the only places that I feel completely at ease.

We spend a great deal of time at Camp throughout the year. However, every Memorial Day, Aaron, Toby and I will take time to acknowledge his tree; its roots firm in the very ground that supported me while I grew up. Every year we will take a picture of him by is tree as we watch the two grow, nourished by the same placenta and grounded by the same piece of land that I have always gravitated to.

Pepe would be so pleased.

Wednesday, Oui? A Year of Toby

Last week Toby turned one-year-old. I can't even begin to describe how much this little man means to our family; to us.

He is everything I could have ever asked for, and more.

I'm an educated woman with many titles, roles, licenses, and certifications. In the professional world, I pretty much have the entire alphabet after my name. None of those titles even come close to "Mama" which is, by far, my favorite role.

Over the past year of Toby's life, I took pictures of him every month on the 23rd (and pretty much every day.) Before he was even born I had a dream of compiling a slideshow of him for every year of his life. I made his slideshow a couple of weeks ago and Aaron and I watched it on the eve of his birthday. We were both a total mess. Time goes by too fast.

One year of Toby isn't nearly enough. Oui?

Please click on the link below to see the "first edition."

Toby's first year slideshow

Toby: 12 months! (1 YEAR OLD!!)

You read that correctly.

On May 23rd Mr. Mister turned 1 year old.
Do you hear that? It's my uterus... weeping.
I can't stand it.
OHMIGOD!

He's one! He's really ONE! It's not even real!  I have a toddler.

He really is the most amazing thing. He's like a little man. It's crazy how much he seems to change on a daily basis.

Here are his stats for the month:

• He has had 2626 diaper changes over the past year. That's an average of 218 per month, 7 per day. We pay about $.07 per diaper (we use Pampers and get them at cost through the hospital where Aaron's mom works - YAY for employee benefits!) so that averages only about $170 for a years worth of diapers. I can't complain about that. Most people pay about $.25 per diaper (give or take depending on the brand) so we have been very very lucky!
• We packed away all his bottle this month. Over the past couple of months we've really been trying to use less bottles and really reinforce the sippy cup. Finally, this month, we stopped them all together.
•  We also started integrating cow's milk into his diet. We did it slowly, an ounce at a time for we week, then two ounces at a time (mixed with his formula) and at 12 months he was ready to let go of the formula all together (and $o were we! I an not going to mi$$ that expen$e.) We have him on organic whole milk. 18-24 oz. per day.)
• He now has 5 teeth!!
• He nods his head and also says "yeah.
• He can use a spoon (occasionally)
• He lets us brush his teeth 2 times per day without a fuss!
• He went to his first concert, Raffi. He loved it and he danced! I was surprised at how well he was able to maintain his attention span.
• He had his first birthday party! A circus theme on May 18th.
• He stands alone. He's really working on his balance.
• He still sleeps like a champ, of course. We're spoiled in that. Since 2 weeks old he has slept through the night. He goes down about 7:30 and wakes at 6:00. I can't complain!

At his 12 month check up on May 24th he was 2'6" tall and 21.3 lbs. Still a peanut!

Updates on Mama and Daddy:

• Toby is really becoming a lot more mobile. I definitely am getting in my exercise now!
• It's also a lot of fun to take him places. He's much more into activities. We bring him everywhere. He's really a social baby and is very curious. He likes to be out and about.
• Aaron is VERY MUCH looking forward to the end of the school year.
• I'm looking forward to making summer memories with my kid at camp. I am really in need of some family time now that things are slowing down. While we do have a busy summer with weddings, showers, babies and bachelorettes, I am going to be sure to indulge in my husband and son as much as I can.
  
  

 

 

Happy 1 year little man. It was been, by far, the best year of our lives. I love you!

Happy Birthday, Toby

Our little boy is ONE today.
It is completely unreal.
I have no idea how it happened so fast.
It feels like we just brought him home from the hospital.

In the past year I have learned more about life than I ever could have imagined. I have such a sense of mortality, such a sense of responsibility, and a pride in parenting. I'm stronger as a wife, more tolerant as a human being, and more grateful than I can put into words.

I have experienced many wonderful moments throughout my life but, none compare to every second spent with our son. Work has a different meaning, money has a different meaning, and life has a new purpose.

How did we get here? How is it that we went from two people who worked together and very much disliked each other, to dating, getting engaged, buying a house, getting married and having a son? I just don't understand how I ended up here. Certainly, it must be Karma returning to me. I have more happiness and love in my life than any one person should.

I tell Toby every day that I love him, that's he a good boy, and that he made me a better person. He made me a Mama. He changed my world; he reinvented my definition of happiness. Toby has made my experience of being his Mama so exciting and rewarding and thought-provoking and profound. I remember life before him, but I feel so much more alive with him.

I have sung Aaron's praises since the beginning of time. He never ceases to amaze me as a father to our son. He is the best partner I could ask for. I am so thankful for how hard he works, how supportive he is, and how much he empowers me as a woman and mother, yet still cherishes me as his wife. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Aaron loves me wholly, completely, selflessly, and unconditionally. I know, no matter what the issue, he is my biggest fan, loudest cheerleader, and solid ally.

But, to see him with our son is really something else entirely. I can't describe it any other way than it truly pulls at my heart. He has done everything I have done. Diaper for diaper and bottle for bottle he matches my pace. Most days Toby has no preference over any parent. Aaron can soothe him just as well as I can. He is just as happy to see Daddy as he is to see Mama. I am completely confident that Aaron is as competent at parenting our son as I am. I never allowed there to be any other option. Aaron does everything for this family. Aaron loves his son and loves his wife. I am so lucky to know that with such conviction. I can't imagine ever doubting that. Aaron would never allow any other option.

Toby makes himself so easy to love. He's a big flirt; his smile is contagious. He has a giant heart, he loves animals and music and books and his family. Toby makes the sun shine.

When I was pregnant I wrote a blog about all of my wishes and hopes about being a mother and having a son. I still want all of those things... and more. But at the end of the night, when we put Toby in his pajamas and we say goodnight, all I really want is for him to know just how much we love him. I go to bed, excited for the moment when I hear him peeping from his crib and I can snatch him up and start a new day. How lucky are we, as parents-- as people-- to get this little person, who comes with a clean slate and so much curiosity. How did we get here? What have I done to deserve this? I will never take for granted the gift we have been given.

There are no words to sum up the past year. But I can say that I have lived more intentionally in the past 365 days than I ever did before I became Toby's mother.

Thank you, Toby. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
Happy Birthday, Little Dude, Mr. Mister, Precious Alien, Darling Boy. We love you.

 

 

 

 

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry! A Oui From Toby

Hi Folks,

So, my Mama said something to me when I woke up this morning about it being "May." I have no idea what it means to be May, but Mama was really excited. She said something about May being the month that I was born and that my birthday is coming up. I guess I'm excited!

After my bath today she brought me up to my nursery and said she wanted to talk to me about my big party. I wasn't listening as well as I should have been because I was thinking about the bath I just had. I love baths. I have a scuba ducky that goes in the bath with me. He's awesome.

Anyway, she told me about my party and said that today was the day I could tell everyone the theme!

Are you ready? I'm having a CIRCUS PARTY!

 

 

I just love the circus. My Mama and Daddy brought me to the circus a few weeks ago and I saw an elephant and I saw a camel and there were people flying in the sky and there were these funny looking people with bright hair and make-up on their face. The circus was unbelievable!

After the show was all done my Mama and Daddy waited around for a while and then gave some paper to a man who let me have some special time with the elephant. Mama called it a greasy palm. I'm not really sure what that means but, I was happy to see an elephant. I got really excited when I was riding her and I tried to pet her. Mama said I couldn't touch! I just love animals so much. They are my most favoritest thing! Well, one of my most favoritest things. I also have this ducky that goes in the bath with me. He makes me laugh. He's awesome.

 

 

 

My Mama and Daddy spent a lot of time making my invitations. I don't know what that means, but she said it's how people know to come to my circus. She said she included something special as a gift for me on the invite because I just love animals. I don't know what it is yet, but I do know that after the circus she made Daddy bring her way outback to the very back of all the trailers because she was saying something about living conditions. I dunno? I kinda felt like we weren't supposed to be there. I just know I got to see the elephant and camel again. They were eating. Mama seemed a little happier about that.

                           

 

 

Anyway, Mama just wanted me to stop by to say hi and make a big announcement about my party... because it's May and I'm turning one this month. I have to go... I have bananas to eat, dogs and cats to harass and some studying to do.

 

 

 

Love XOXO,

Toby