HERO

Most of you have never heard from me and most of you have never met me. But, you and I both have somethings in common. The love and admiration for the woman that put her life and dreams on the line for another person whom she has never met. I have never known someone who is as selfless as my Jessi. What I have seen her go through in the last few weeks and especially the last 48 hours for a complete stranger has left me in aww. She has made me realize how beautiful and compassionate a human being can and should be for one another. She was my hero before and will always be my hero.

Harvest Time!

So, I have been a little less than forthcoming when it comes to my upcoming surgery. What surgery you ask? Okay, so not forthcoming what-so-ever.

Almost two years ago I was registered in the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) because someone I knew, with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, badly needed a bone marrow transplant. I was tested to determine if I was an appropriate match-but I wasn't. What did happen was that I was added to the list of potential donors, nationally, and told I was an eligible donor providing I had suitable health until my 61st birthday.

Now, those of you who know me know that I don't just sort of do something. I give it my all.

There is a long story attached to why this cause is so important to me and what I have done to contribute to this cause. However, I won't get into all the details as I consider it my civic duty as a human being. But what I will briefly say is that I have helped (in a very small way) in registering over 750 people into the National Marrow Donor Program and I attended a meeting at the State House in Concord on behalf of New Hampshire families urging NH to pass HB 1452; a bill which requires insurance companies to pay for the screening process of potential donors in their registration into the NMDP. The Bill passed almost unanimously.

*Here are some facts about the NMDP:*

• Currently, there are approximately (ONLY) 5.5 million people in the NMDP.
• Each year over 35,000 people are diagnosed with blood diseases that require a bone marrow transplant.
• Only 30% of those 35,000 find a related donor, the rest are left to search for their match in the NMDP (hence, why 5.5 million is NOT a lot of people.)
• It is difficult to find a match who is willing to go through the process of bone marrow harvesting. Most only enter the registry for a family member or friend, and never expect or are prepared to donate (or save the life) of a perfect stranger, and many refuse.
• It takes as little as a saliva sample (in some cases a blood sample) to enter the NMDP.
• NH, Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Massachusetts are the only New England states who require their insurance companies to cover the ~$70 fee incurred by people hoping to be registered into the NMDP. Other states in New England and the U.S expect people to cover the fee to enter the registry. This fee often becomes a barrier to treatment and donation.

I got the call in August informing me that I was a potential match for a 20-year-old female with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. I was asked if I was still interested in donating either stem-cells or participating in an actual Bone Marrow Harvesting. Indeed I was interested and began the long process of health screenings and doctor visits to determine if I was the best possible match for this recipient. Here are the steps/timeline I took to get to where I am going Thursday:

1. February 2005- Provided Dana-Farber Cancer Institute (DFCI) with a single vile of blood to enter into the NMDP.
2. Late August 2007- I got a call informing me of my possible match, and inquiring if I was interested.
3. 1 week later- I went to my Primary Care Physician to give approximately 10 viles of blood to be sent to DFCI for HLA-testing (Human Lykocyte Antigen-- what makes my tissue unique.)
4. 2 weeks later- I got a call from DFCI informing me that I was a match, not a perfect match but as close as an unrelated donor can be, and they wanted to "harvest me."
5. Sept 18- I went to DFCI to submit to testing for: any and all infectious diseases, cancers, pregnancy, chest X-rays, and an EKG -- to determine if I was fit for this surgery.
6. Sept 24- I went to DFCI for a pre-operative consultation.
7. Oct 1- I submitted to another pregnancy test.

What will happen to me:

• October 11, 2007 at 5:30am I will be admitted to Brigham and Woman's Teaching Hospital for pre-operative admission.
• 7:30am I will be put under general anesthesia and intubated, put on my stomach and two surgeons will work simultaneously to remove approximately 1 quart (predetermined by my weight) of bone marrow through the iliac bones in my hips.
• I will be under for about 3 hours, and after I am harvested I will be given a pint of my own blood which was extracted at my Sept 18th appointment.
• My body will regenerate this marrow over the next 4-6 weeks and I will be in recovery/pain for about 7 days.
• I will give my living tissue to a 20-year-old female. I am her last hope at a long life.

If you pray please keep me AND my recipient in your prayers. If you don't, please send healing and healthy thoughts our way.

Wish me luck, it's harvest time.

*for more information, email me, or go to www.dana-farber.org*

I HEART Schwag

There are many, many wonderful things about dating a cyclist.

First, it's a hot sport. Who would have "thunk" a man who wears spandex and shaves his legs would have pedaled into the dreams of this woman? True, true, I'm a fan.

Second, the conversations. Aaron will come home from riding his bike for several hours, as he thinks nothing of going 90 miles in his "rides," and in those 90 miles he does a lot of thinking. When he comes home, always eager to talk to me, a conversation will usually go something like this:

J: How was your ride?

A: Great!

J: Where did you go? (Aaron will give me a detailed story of where he went, who he saw, any animals he spotted [he knows that is the highlight of his ride stories for me.])

J: How do you feel, are you tired, hungry, or thirsty?

A: Actually, when I was on my ride, I was thinking about what we should do on our next vacation.

-or-: When I was on my ride, I thought of something I said earlier that came out wrong, and I'm sorry... (most of the time I have no idea what he is talking about, but being a "typical female" I milk it for all it's worth.)

Third, the schwag. What is schwag you ask? Well, it's the perks that a sponsor gives their sponsorees (our current schwag is the 6 cases of vitamin water currently in my mudroom, thank you Aaron Molloy and Legal Cycling. If it's free, it's for me, and we have had lots of it; clothing, water-bottles, gift certificates, and Aaron gets hooked up with a top of the line bicycle to ride each season... I love schwag...

Lickin' my wounds

Do you ever have "one those days" where you just feel blue and you don't know why? That's me today, I'm in a funk. I can't get out of my own way, or find the positives. So, to knock that chip off my shoulder, I am going to list things that make me smile:

my dogs, packing an "activity bag" when going away, my health, my cats, my sister, imagining people enjoying my blog and getting something out of it to improve their day, my beautiful apartment, my bird, my education, having enough food, mindless entertainment, my sweet friends who put up with my hatred of the telephone and unreliable call back promises, knowing I have "someone to go home to", people who over-accessorize but pull it off, confidence that tomorrow will be a better day, greasy cookies, getting a lot done, snot draining from one sinus side to the other when you switch your position in bed, laptops, Downy wrinkle releaser, hotel keys, Aaron Timothy Molloy, the stain news print leaves on your fingers, getting the mail, cleaning your car, corn-husks, pumpkins, finding money in your pocket and remembering what you bought to get it back as change, tea with honey and lemon, downloading new pictures from your digital camera AND liking one of yourself, waking up early and laying in bed knowing you still have hours before you have to get up, pink, expressions that mention bodily fluids ie; full of piss and vinegar, doing something for shits and grins, not having a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, blogging, calling someone to tell them goodnight.

There, that's a little better.

The Things We Do For Love Part II

I had a really bad week last week. Due to my hectic work schedule and family events beyond my control, I was ready for the weekend. I needed to do something that was going to refresh my mind and body. Aaron and I came to the conclusion that a hike in the "Whites" would do.

Aaron (who I tease and call Mr. Universe) usually plans these hikes. I swear he has an internal compass that enables him to navigate us anywhere we go, and the strength and stamina that many envy (including myself.) He planned to take me to Mt. Lafayette. This is a 8 mile round trip hike that reaches a summit of 5260' (about a 6 hours.) I was not prepared, mentally or physically, for such a trip.

Things started out nicely, with BEAUTIFUL scenery and foliage, but as we ascended the mountain, I became angry and frustrated, acquiring tunnel vision that disabled me from enjoying my surroundings. I can recall little of the hike after this point.

We made it to Greenleaf Hut at 4420' where we stopped to refuel our bodies with food and add more layers of clothing, as the summit was in the clouds and the temperature was (estimation) around 20 degrees. At some point after leaving the hut, I became so frustrated, exhausted, and upset that I could not go on. For all sakes and purposes we reached the top, we were about 100' below the actual "summit," but the disappointment I felt because I could "not finish" overwhelmed me to a point I am embarrassed to even discuss here-- it's much too personal.

What I will tell you is that I took all of this anger and frustration out on Aaron. My mentality was that he planned the hike, he should know that I couldn't complete this in the state of mind I had been for the last few days, and the physical demands that had been put on my body over the last two weeks. I basically thought that he should be able to read my mind. (Nevermind the fact that I specifically told him that I wanted to climb all 48- 4000+ footers in NH, so he probably thought he was doing "good".)

I had a melt-down of epic proportions and directed my rage at Aaron. Like I said, I remember very little about the trip, but what I do remember is how every time I climbed down a huge boulder to navigate the trail, Aaron reached his hand out for me to catch me. And every time I rejected his hand and chose instead to steady myself on a tree, branch, or boulder. But no matter how many times I rejected his hand, he never stopped reaching for me.

I didn't complete this climb, but I learned a valuable lesson. I can't do every thing perfectly and sometimes I need to accept the help I am offered because I am so lucky to have such unconditional support. When I look at the pictures from that day I wonder, "what did I ever do to deserve such unconditional love, adoration, and patience from a man who constantly has the courage to reach out to me?"

Me, nearing Greenleaf Hut

My biggest fan, who told me at the bottom of the mountain, "Jessi, I love and adore you more now than I did 6 hours ago."