The Things We Do For Love Part II

I had a really bad week last week. Due to my hectic work schedule and family events beyond my control, I was ready for the weekend. I needed to do something that was going to refresh my mind and body. Aaron and I came to the conclusion that a hike in the "Whites" would do.

Aaron (who I tease and call Mr. Universe) usually plans these hikes. I swear he has an internal compass that enables him to navigate us anywhere we go, and the strength and stamina that many envy (including myself.) He planned to take me to Mt. Lafayette. This is a 8 mile round trip hike that reaches a summit of 5260' (about a 6 hours.) I was not prepared, mentally or physically, for such a trip.

Things started out nicely, with BEAUTIFUL scenery and foliage, but as we ascended the mountain, I became angry and frustrated, acquiring tunnel vision that disabled me from enjoying my surroundings. I can recall little of the hike after this point.

We made it to Greenleaf Hut at 4420' where we stopped to refuel our bodies with food and add more layers of clothing, as the summit was in the clouds and the temperature was (estimation) around 20 degrees. At some point after leaving the hut, I became so frustrated, exhausted, and upset that I could not go on. For all sakes and purposes we reached the top, we were about 100' below the actual "summit," but the disappointment I felt because I could "not finish" overwhelmed me to a point I am embarrassed to even discuss here-- it's much too personal.

What I will tell you is that I took all of this anger and frustration out on Aaron. My mentality was that he planned the hike, he should know that I couldn't complete this in the state of mind I had been for the last few days, and the physical demands that had been put on my body over the last two weeks. I basically thought that he should be able to read my mind. (Nevermind the fact that I specifically told him that I wanted to climb all 48- 4000+ footers in NH, so he probably thought he was doing "good".)

I had a melt-down of epic proportions and directed my rage at Aaron. Like I said, I remember very little about the trip, but what I do remember is how every time I climbed down a huge boulder to navigate the trail, Aaron reached his hand out for me to catch me. And every time I rejected his hand and chose instead to steady myself on a tree, branch, or boulder. But no matter how many times I rejected his hand, he never stopped reaching for me.

I didn't complete this climb, but I learned a valuable lesson. I can't do every thing perfectly and sometimes I need to accept the help I am offered because I am so lucky to have such unconditional support. When I look at the pictures from that day I wonder, "what did I ever do to deserve such unconditional love, adoration, and patience from a man who constantly has the courage to reach out to me?"

Me, nearing Greenleaf Hut

My biggest fan, who told me at the bottom of the mountain, "Jessi, I love and adore you more now than I did 6 hours ago."