It's an O.C.D thing: You just wouldn't understand...

There are certain things a person with O.C.D just can't handle and, unless you have O.C.D, you're incredibly anal, or you're a perfectionist... you just won't get it.

Now, I say "O.C.D" very loosely. Do I diagnostically fit into the category of Obsessive Compulsive? Nope. But, tongue in cheek, I'm definitely anal. So, on this rainy Monday, I'm going to supply you with 10 things this person with "O.D.C" struggles with:

1. Pumping gas: Okay, so not only is the pump disgustingly dirty (who knows who touched that thing?!) let's talk about how hard it is to get the money on the dollar. I wonder how many dollars I've overpaid big oil companies in my quest to just pump in "a few more cents" to get to an "even" amount. Still, it doesn't stop there. It's not just pumping gas, it's making sure one million times, once or twice that I put the gas cap back on my tank. Then it's smelling my hands (repeatedly) to verify I didn't spill a drop of gas on them.

2. ATM Withdrawals: Okay, so before I even write about this, I need to first address a larger issue. I go NUTS when people say they need to go to an ATM Machine. Do we not realize ATM stands for automatic teller machine? So when you say, "I need to hit up an ATM machine." What you're really saying is, "I need to hit up an automatic teller machine machine.*" (*Note: even spell check wanted me to delete the repeated word there.) Alas, I digress. Anyway, visiting the ATM is wrought with difficulty for a paranoid OCD'er, vigilant person. First, you have to pull up close enough to reach the machine and not hit anything. Then you need to trust that the machine is not going to suck your card into the unknown depths of its belly while making sure you don't hit the wrong buttons. Further, you need to verify that you hit the right amount, $40, not $400 and proceed to freak out that the money is going to blow away in the wind before you grab it... or that you'll leave your card sitting there too long and it will get sucked back in. After all this, you'll drive off after hitting cancel one million times so the thief in your rear view doesn't take your money. But first you need to just pull over real quick to double check you got your card back. Then you drive another minute and stop to count the cash while having the following internal conversation: "Would they really believe you if the machine didn't give you enough? What if it gave you too much? Because, I could see how that could happen, some of these bills are sticky. Would they even know if it gave you too much? Would they call you? Yes, they have it all on camera. Keep driving, you look shady...Wait, is the person behind me sticking in their card? Yes. Good, you're safe. Crap, is that MY receipt hanging out of the machine? How did I forget that? Oh, well. It doesn't have my account number on it. Right? Does it? Shoot. Should I call the bank and cancel my card?"

3. Opening and stirring a new jar of peanut butter: If you don't buy organic and/or natural peanut butter you have no idea what I'm talking about. But if you do, you totally know. Stirring peanut butter can be an hour long affair. "Is it really mixed? I don't want the stuff on the bottom to be dry. And I don't want it lumpy. Shit, I just spilled a little over the side of the jar. Now it's not going to have its full creaminess. AND the label is going to look greasy. Ugh, I can't stand a greasy label. I can't wait until this jar is gone."

4. Losing a chapstick that you've been working to finish for the last 2 months: I really don't need to elaborate here. This is just such a profound loss. You will forever lack that sense of completion.

5. Grocery shopping: I mean, really. Once I get past sanitizing the cart handle, the shopping is all down hill from there. "Why is there a random bag of chips in the aisle with toilet paper? And look at that poor yogurt out of the refrigerator section. That's so sad. It's going to spoil. Perhaps I should put it back? I wonder how long it's been out? Maybe I should just tell a clerk. It probably shouldn't go back, it could already be spoiled and then someone will buy it on accident and maybe get sick. Did I buy yogurt this week? Yes. Let me feel it. Does that feel warm? I need to go back and get a new one from the BACK of the refrigerator."

6. Wrinkly commutes: The white knuckle 25 minute commute to work knowing full well the seat belt is wrinkling the shirt you freshly pressed and starched this morning. Then the subsequent horror of getting to work and noticing your child wiped their face on the shoulder of your sweater... But not wanting to wipe it off because it is sweet and you remember exactly when they did that earlier in the morning... but still, do you really want snot on your shoulder all day long?

7. Chipped toenail polish. Just cut my feet off. I can't even look at them.

8. Car wash: Driving anywhere near dirty cars in which someone wrote in the dirt on them. You know what I'm talking about. Those "wash me" cars. Ugh.

9. Black, please: When asked to sign an important document, or endorse the back of a check, and you're handed a blue ink pen. Followed immediately by that moment when you briefly contemplate how crazy you would appear if you asked for black ink.

10. Restaurant silverware: Is that a water spot? Or is that food? How many mouths has this fork seen? I bet at least one of the people had bloody gums. Dear Lord.