Baby Talk

 

 "TOBY! LOOK OUT! YOUR MOM IS GOING TO PUNCH YOU!!"

 

"Jeggings are so in right now. I have 5 pairs."
 

"Affirmative. 10-4. Over and out."

 "Mama, jig is up. We know that's not diet Sprite."

 

 "Right?"

 

"I'm a mouse, damn it! Bring me my cheese!"

 

"Wait. I don't get it. Who is Don King?"

 

"Mama, if you just bought Bounty I would only need one. How do you expect me to get any cleaning done with this cheap one-ply?"

"It's simple, Mom. This pound of chocolate for your car keys. A fair exchange. We'll call it even and I won't make a scene."

 

Toby: 13 months

I have no idea when I'll stop doing these updates. What I can tell you is that they will included less food/diaper facts. I am no longer keeping track of his diapers! Well, that's kind of a lie. On the days Nanny comes in I still make sure she keeps track of everything, just so we know what Toby was up to that day.

On June 23rd, Toby turned 13 months old. I have a toddler. He has been a toddler for a month.

He's just so awesome. And fun.

 

Aaron is on school vacation starting TONIGHT! Today is his last day of school. I am so psyched. That means we will have 4/7 days together as a family. I will still be working 3 days per week during the summer and Nanny will still be coming in two days per week. While I had originally hoped to not pay someone through the summer, I also came to realize that it's not fair to ask someone to take a 13 week unpaid vacation. I was afraid she'd look for another job. And could you blame her?

 

So, we agreed to keep her on for a minimum of 10 hours per week. I'm happy with this decision because it will keep her happy (we love her and want to keep her!!) and it will also give Aaron time to do the things he wants to get done around the house (paint the exterior, rebuild our rock walls, do some landscaping, remodel the bathroom, put on a new roof. You know, the usual! wink.) So, I guess with his to-do list ever growing, it's good that we still have someone coming in two days per week.

 

Toby is so much fun. We are really looking forward to summer activities with him. He's very very curious and doesn't stop. I am loving this stage.

 

 

We are no longer doing pictures in the "brown chair" in his nursery. That was soooooo last year, pah-leeeze! We are going to do our monthly pictures in front of his "growth" chart. Aaron and I bought him this wooden growth chart for his birthday and every single month (we started on his 1st birthday) we are going to measure him on it.

 

 

 

Free touch a truck event at the local library. (Free ice cream too!)

 

Mr. Mister eats real food. Garlic green beans, mushroom ravoli, blueberries, cheese!

Hummus, tomato, steak, Annie's Mac & cheese, and of course, the staples of his diet,
blueberries and avocado!

 

Okay, let's gossip about Mr. Mister:

• He has 6 beautiful teeth.
• He's crawling everywhere and getting into everything! I don't mind though.
• He eats everything we eat. He no longer gets purees. He drinks whole milk. The kid loves onions and mushrooms (there is the proof he's really mine) and he mostly feeds himself (except yogurt and ice cream, for obvious reasons.) He's such a good eater. We still haven't done honey or peanut butter, but we plan to this month. He has had pretty much everything else!
• He stands alone, without support. Frequently.
• HE TOOK ONE STEP UNASSISTED LAST NIGHT! (Gasp!)
• He HATES to be inside. He loves being outdoors. We go for a walk every single night after dinner/before bed if the weather permits (he "drives" in his little car [AKA: we push him.])
• He loves the water. Camp will certainly be a fun time this summer!
• He has added "down" and "hot" to his vocabulary. "Hot" sounds a lot like he's trying to hock phlegm out of his throat.
• He uses quite a few signs. He also signs "dog" occasionally.
• Speaking of which, he's obsessed with our animals. All of them.
• We dropped bottles all together over a month ago so, we're working on Binky now. He occasionally gets it during the day and always at naps, night, and car rides. I would like to take it from him during the day completely but, he recently started grinding his teeth and I can't stand the sound of it so, selfishly, I gave Bink back. But soon we're going to pull it during the day.
• I am very proud to say my kid still hasn't watched TV. We haven't had a TV in this house for almost a year (okay, we have a 20 inch in our bedroom that we only use to watch the occasional movie.) BUT, the kid has NEVER watched it. I plan to keep it that way for a long time. He can entertain himself with a book or blocks, so, why give it to him? (Granted, we'd have to actually buy a TV/cable if we wanted to let him watch it.) One thing we do plan to do when he gets a little older is have a family movie night. We will make popcorn in our new popcorn machine and watch a movie together once per week. I really want him to view TV as a treat not a pastime. Aaron and I don't particularly enjoy TV so obviously that's why this is the mission of our family. I get that different things work for different families; I don't judge if you let your kid watch TV. We have just made the choice long ago not to let our son watch.
• He's just so curious. I can't get over how much he likes to explore. He can figure things out pretty quickly.
• He talks (babbles) a lot. He will carry on a "conversation" with pretty much anyone.
• He loves to laugh and sing.
• He still sleeps through the night. Bedtime is 7:30. He's starting to wake a bit earlier now, about 5:30, which is a bit rough for us.
• He still loves music. He has quite an array of musical instruments now. Legit, instruments. He has a tambourine, drumsticks, a rain-stick, maracas... and a few other things. It's pretty ridiculous. He will dance all over the place.
• We still go to a lot of classes. We do a lot of experience-based things. I can't stand keeping him cooped so, even if it's going to the mall or the library, we always find things to do.
• He has a very very busy summer. I'm a hound when it come to activities. This week alone he is booked every day! (Park today, Storytime tomorrow morning with Daddy, Swim lessons tomorrow evening with Mama and Daddy, A Solar System event Wednesday night, A concert Thursday, A hike or kayaking on Friday.. and who knows what the weekend will bring.) I try to find something for him at least 4-5 times per week. A lot of the activities are short; 1-2 hours long but it gets him out of the house, learning, and keeps him social. He loves it. I just don't see keeping him in the house if there are things we can do to learn... (and many of them for free!)

Toby: God is Good

 

Before we found out we were having a boy, we had picked out the name Wyatt for our future "son." However, once we confirmed the gender I didn't like Wyatt anymore and decided I liked Tobias instead. Tobias (Toby) was, at first, a tough sell to Aaron but he eventually grew to love the name. 

 

Tobias is a Hebrew name which means, "God is Good." The meaning didn't have anything to do with the reason why we picked his name; I actually picked it because of my favorite movie as a child, Toby Tyler (about a boy and the circus- go figure.)

  

That said, we do believe God was very good to us when he picked Toby as our child.

 

I'm ashamed I'm just getting around to posting about this now but, better late than never, right? On March 9, we baptized Toby into the Catholic Church. Aaron and I are both Catholics; from Catholic families. Although we don't practice our faith as much as we'd like (and we certainly don't agree with every aspect of our religion) we want to share our beliefs with our son. If, later in life, he decides it's not for him, that's his option.

Toby had an absolutely beautiful ceremony. Aaron's uncle, a Deacon, baptized Toby with my sister and Aaron's brother at our side as Godparents.

 

 

The candle Uncle Matt is holding was the same candle used at my baptism.

 After the ceremony, Jim and Linda (Aaron's parents) hosted his reception.

 

 

I took fabrics from his nursery pillows and quilt, and made a bunting for decoration.

 

 

I made his invites with Lily of the Valley embellishments (the flower of May) and in his floral arrangements, I had roses [Flower of June- me] and Daffodil [flower of March- Aaron.]) I tried really really hard not to be upset when our florist told me that lily of the valley wasn't in season.

I wish I had thought to take pictures of the food. We had it catered and boy did we eat like kings. I also made cupcakes with green and yellow wrappers. It was adorable.

 

For his suit: I really didn't want a traditional gown for Toby. It just wouldn't suit him to be wearing shiny satin and a bonnet! I couldn't bear it. So, on Etsy, I found a woman in Lithuania who made a custom linen suit. It fit him and his personality to a "T." It was comfortable and he looked great. To add a splash of color, I had another woman make him some green shoes. I also purchased little white socks that had crosses embroidered on them. He looked adorable.

My sister bought him the most thoughtful gift, a boutonniere. It's one that he wears for his baptism, and then gives to his spouse at his marriage. I cried when I read it (I think if you click the picture, you can see what it says.) I'm going to purchase one for my Godson who was just born days ago. I think it's such an appropriate/thoughtful gift.

 

Lastly, one thing that meant a lot to me was Toby's "belt." Months prior to Toby's baptism, I began soliciting our families for pieces of fabric. It couldn't just be any fabric, it had to be something that represented THEM. My mother-in-law took all the pieces and sewed them together as a sash/belt. When my son was baptized, he had a part of each member of his family tied around his waist; embracing him. It was precious. I took a picture of both sides and labeled the picture so, years from now, we will remember what each cloth represented. (There are pieces of someone's wedding dress, the pocket from my Pepe's fishing jacket, etc.)

 

Toby has been to church a few times and I have to say, he's really patient. It's almost as if he knows he's in a sacred place and he needs to be quiet and respectful. While Aaron and I don't attend church regularly (although, we're really working to get there more often than we do) I'm a believer that the family that prays together stays together. Toby, although too young to understand what that means, is a part of our faith. That makes me happy.

Wednesday, Oui: Father's Day

My husband is awesome. I know, I know, I say it a lot but, really you guys, he's awesome. With Father's Day fast approaching and a FUN FILLED few days ahead (a play date on Friday, a bridal shower on Saturday and BIG plans for this Mama on her birthday [which I share with all the fathers  this year]) I don't know that I'll have a minute to blog about father's day.

So, here are (some of) the reasons my old man is Boss:

Aaron is a super hard worker. He works a full-time job as a pretty amazing teacher to a difficult population of students. He has a way with wayward youth. I love that he's a teacher and he values education. He has an incredible amount of patience. (Anddddd, let's just level with ourselves here, he willingly married me; he MUST have patience. He should be knighted. Or Sainted. Or recognized by the Diocese in some way.)

My husband also works side jobs to help keep our kid fed, diapered, and nannied. I work 2.5 - 3 days per week. That's it. Aaron made his intent very clear that he didn't want me working full-time after our son was born. While I still struggle to find balance between part-time work and full-time mom, I'm lucky to have the option to still do what I adore and also, be home with my kid 4.5 days per week. I fully acknowledge that I could NOT do that without the support, hard work, and sacrifices my husband makes.

He keeps me leveled and grounded. I'm wound pretty tight by nature. While it is truly remarkable how much I've mellowed in my rigidity since Toby arrived, sometimes I still need a reality check. Aaron does that. He has an uncanny way of dealing with me.

He intentionally parents right along side me. When I'm at work, engrossed in the world of psychology, professional journals, progress notes, managed care, and addictions, I never stop to think, "Crap, does Aaron know what he's doing?" I never worry about whether or not he parents Toby the way I want him to. He has his own way and it's perfect. He can anticipate Toby's needs just as well as I can. I never pretend to be the better parent, or the better equipped parent.

Anddd, let's be real here. He 'aint' so bad on the eyes.

Before our son was born, my mother gave my husband a book: Harrison, Harry H, Jr. (2000). Father to Son: Life Lessons on Raising a Boy. New York, NY: Workman Publishing Company. (Sorry, I've been conditioned to cite sources properly!) It basically talks about the 5 key points of raising a kid and has short little words of wisdom on each page. Aaron loves this book and often references it. The other day we were talking about Toby and I said something along the lines of, "Oh, Toby is my bestie." And while I was only kidding, Aaron got up from the table, went and retrieved his book and turned right to one of the key points; reading it out loud to me. "Be his father, not his friend. If you don't understand the difference, imagine his confusion when you must discipline him." (Harrison, 2000, pg. 3.) My jaw dropped. This is exactly what I'm talking about when I say my husband parents intentionally. Even though I was only kidding when I said that, Aaron completely schooled me and reminded me of the importance of boundaries in raising your child. Sometimes he knocks my socks off. (But, as a shameless plug, if you're lost in what to get that special father of a sweet little boy, this book is amazing. It's designed for men to read, however, I've read it.)

Aaron and I often talk about the way we parent. We make sure we are on the same page. We make sure we back each other up. He's good at reading my cues if I'm frustrated or exhausted, or if our parenting style needs defending to anyone. We have both agreed on the same goal of "intentionally parenting" with a mission statement. We often discuss it and remind each other of it when we're feeling challenged, less than, or judged. "We are intentionally parenting our child to the best of our ability; we are not required to give anyone any rationale as to why we do things the way we do them. You can support and empower us as parents, or you can try to thwart us. One of these decisions will earn you more time with us and our son. One will earn you less. Those are your choices -- choose wisely." As hokey as it sounds it has served us so many times. I recognize how lucky I am to be in a partnership that we discuss things like this.

There are so many things that I could go on and on and on about, however, I'll end with how he role models being a partner. I don't care who Toby ends up loving when he's older; I know he is going to be the best partner to someone because that's what Aaron is. It's rare that Aaron goes grocery shopping without bringing home fresh flowers. It's rare that I'm the only person doing housework or laundry. It's rare that I'm the only one changing a diaper. Even though I am home 4 days per week, it's likely that Aaron will get up with our son first (most likely 7 out of 10 times Aaron is up first) even though he has to go to work... just so I can sleep just a few extra minutes. It's rare that I cook. As a matter of fact, often when I come home from work I'll find Toby sitting in his highchair watching Aaron cook dinner for us. Aaron will be explaining what he's doing with Pandora Kids radio playing in the background. Aaron tells me every day that he loves me and that I'm beautiful. He speaks to me with respect and adoration. (Actually, as I'm writing this, I think I need to step up my game so Toby doesn't end up marrying someone like me! wink.) Aaron loves me. Like whoa. That's probably one of the best lessons Toby can learn from his dad.

So, with father's day just days away, I'm giving a shout out to my husband, who made me a Mama. Aside from saying yes when you asked me to marry you, choosing you for Toby's daddy was the best decision I've ever made.

Thank you for all that you do, all that you are, and all that you give.
Oui?

Yes, I kept my placenta (Part II)

You may remember my post almost a year ago discussing our choice to keep my placenta and what we did with it. If you don't remember, click here (if you're squeamish, don't click the link.) Well, aside from making (what I think is) beautiful art with the placenta, we also chose to plant the placenta.

All who know me know that trees are among one of my favorite things. I'm even a card-carrying member of the Arborday Foundation; I donate to their organization every year and I have purchased several trees/plants/bushes from them. When I was still pregnant with Toby I decided I would plant his birth month tree; which ended up being a Hawthorn (month of May.) So, I placed the order with Arborday hoping to have a sweet Hawthorn tree delivered to me. Unfortunately, due to the climate here in New England, by the time I had Toby I missed the shipping deadline by a few weeks.

So, into the freezer the placenta went. Now, the Arborday Foundation ships this particular tree two times per year; spring and fall. I had the choice of planting this tree last fall but, I called and elected a delayed shipping because I really wanted to plant it in May. A few weeks ago, our little Hawthorn arrived just in time.

Five days after Toby was born, my Pepe passed away. Pepe was, arguably, the single most influential and important person in my life. I miss him incredibly. In my heart, I'd like to believe Pepe waited until after Toby was born to leave this world. I think he knew it was probably the only way I would have been "okay." I can't describe the pure joy of having a new baby, mixed with the utter devastation of losing someone so important. It was the most precious and heartbreaking time of my life. But, my sweet little boy mended my broken heart.

Many of my best childhood memories take place at "camp" in Maine. I spent many a summer day just hanging out at camp with Pepe. Even going there last summer as a new Mom, yet still mourning the loss of my grandfather, provided me immense comfort. Camp is, and has always been, the place I go to center myself. I take such solace in being in a place that meant so much to my Pepe; a place he built with his hands. Therefore, it just made sense to me that I would plant my placenta in Maine.

Coincidentally this year, because of the way Memorial Day weekend fell, I was at camp exactly between Toby's birthday and the day Pepe passed away. So, on the 26th of May, we planted Toby's Hawthorn tree, known for its flowers and berries that attract songbirds, along with Toby's placenta. I love knowing that the very placenta that nourished my son will nourish this tree as well. I also take such comfort in knowing this tree will grow, big and strong, at one of the only places that I feel completely at ease.

We spend a great deal of time at Camp throughout the year. However, every Memorial Day, Aaron, Toby and I will take time to acknowledge his tree; its roots firm in the very ground that supported me while I grew up. Every year we will take a picture of him by is tree as we watch the two grow, nourished by the same placenta and grounded by the same piece of land that I have always gravitated to.

Pepe would be so pleased.